Men have different interests than women. The activities they do, what they are passionate about, are often quite different. Some people find it more comfortable to have a group of friends all of the same gender. However even if it is more comfortable, having a unisex circle of friends is one of the best ways to stay single.
Sadly it’s a common story: a beautiful young woman who is in her thirties, professional, involved in church, surrounded by good girlfriends… but she’s still single. Why? By asking her about her favorite activities, we quickly pick up on the problem. When she stays at home it’s to read a book or watch TV. So then when she does go out, it’s in restaurants with her girlfriends to chat for hours. She loves her Zumba classes and even enlisted in a knitting class. In the church, she works with the ministries for women and even her bible study group is all women. Now add a busy life, and the opportunities to meet a man are almost nil.
This is a big problem. If all the activities you do are unisex (few men will take Zumba classes, least of all knitting!), your chances of finding a life partner are very slim. The same goes for men who participate in various male team sports or spend hours playing video games in their basements.
Some churches separate men from women when it comes to discipleship. While it is true that a man knows better than a woman what a man is going through, this segregation does not help the singles. Although Jesus’ were all men, he still had some women who followed Him as well (Luke 8.1-3). The same goes for Paul, he had women that helped him as well (Romans 16.1-2). If your church is structured like this, then you get to make your own group of Christian friends!
Not only will you have more opportunities to meet your future spouse in a circle of mixed friends, but you will also have a better understanding of the opposite sex. If a young woman has never been friends with both men and women, when a man comes to talk to her, she may begin to think about getting married! “Is this the one?” And when a man never had any contact with women and then suddenly one comes to talk to him, he turns very red and blurts out things that he might regret afterward. Surrounding yourself with a good mix of friends allows you to be more relaxed around the opposite sex.
How can you build a mixed group of friends? Host a BBQ, a board games night, or something else and invite the people you know. If you’re a girl who doesn’t know any guys, ask your friends to invite some! And vice versa! If you have siblings, use their group of friends. Then repeat the experience regularly, until your group is at ease. Remember we all need each other.