Summer begins, which means the wedding invitations start multiplying. It’s a beautiful, romantic, perfect evening … or a miserable one if you are still single! It’s as if the happiness of the bride and groom highlights your social status. How do you keep smiling through the wedding?

You know you should rejoice with your brothers and sisters when they are happy, but sometimes deep inside, you envy the blessings they received. It’s how the older brother reacted in the parable of the prodigal son. “He answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!”(Luke 15.29-30 NIV)

Some of you will recognize yourselves in this passage. You’ve been a good Christian, you gave your tithes every year, and served God with all your strength. Now, the new kid in church, that is still stumbling in their faith, is going to marrying the most eligible person in the congregation! You hear them say “I thank God for blessing me!”. You could grumble and think “And me? I did everything for God … why won’t He bless me?”

The father’s response helps counter this attitude: “My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” (Luke 15.31 NIV) Getting married is a great blessing, but remaining in the presence of God and having constant access to all His promises, is the greatest blessing. Colossians 2.10a (NIV) says: “And in Christ you have been brought to fullness.”. Keep this in mind, your happiness and fullness is in Christ, not from a wedding or any other worldly success.

Now that we know what the Bible says, here are some practical tips you can use if you feel resentment starting to rise up:

-Remember that God has no limits. Just because your friend found a good spouse, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any left for you! When God gives a gift to someone, He doesn’t remove that gift from you. Look at this wedding as proof that it is possible for you too! If God did it for them, He can do it for you.

-Take notes during the wedding. You may have liked the cocktail hour, but not the DJ; you liked the games, but found the service too slow… See you friend’s wedding as a rehearsal for yours.

• Spend as much time as possible with other singles who share your positive attitude. If you spend your whole evening with married couples, you may feel depressed. Go have fun with other singles!

-Offer to help the bride and groom during the wedding. As an example you could be an usher that welcomes the guests, or guides them to their seat, or perhaps something else. If you are busy during the evening, you won’t have time to think about your social status. Serving others is always a good antidote against “the blues”.

-Minimize your expenses. If your clothes, hair and makeup (for women), cost too much, you may feel fussy and cranky. Remember you are not the center attention, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

-Prepare positive answers to the inevitable questions and comments from others. “When are you getting married?” or “You’ll see, you’re next!” Keep in mind that they are not trying to criticize you, it’s a clumsy attempt to include you in their joy.

-Finally, make sure to talk about it to your Heavenly Father. The eldest son in Luke 15 didn’t have a good attitude, but at least he decided to speak openly with his father. Jesus dwells in you and He knows the state your heart is in, so speak freely to Him. He will answer you with compassion.