When we start dating and start talking about sex, opinions will vary from one child of God to another. So what limits should we adopt?
The vast majority of Christians adhere to the idea that sex is reserved for marriage. This principle is based on verses like Hebrews 13.4, Genesis 2:24, and many others. When we reserve sex for marriage by faith and respect for God, we are always victorious and most couples who have kept this beautiful promise have good stories to tell.
However before the complete sexual act, there is a gray area. Some Christians argue that we should not hold hands before being engaged, on the contrary, others think that there is nothing wrong with kissing. Some believe that the couple should always be seen in public with a chaperone, and others say they have no problem spending time alone with their loved one before marriage. Who is right?
The Bible doesn’t say anything specific about these details, which isn’t surprising since each person is different. For example, if a person believes that a single kiss will lead to impurity, that person would do well not to kiss. Each person must identify their own limits and set strict rules, with the goal of not getting too close to their point of no-return. It’s better to keep a safe distance than playing with fire.
If the limits of the girl are not the same as the boy, who has to compromise? The answer is found in 1 Corinthians 10.28-29 (NIV). “But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, both for the sake of the one who told you and for the sake of conscience. I am referring to the other person’s conscience, not yours. For why is my freedom being judged by another’s conscience?” We can take the same principle in the context of sexuality. In short, if the girl thinks that something isn’t proper, then it is a sin to cross this line and the boy must comply, even if he doesn’t share the same opinion. Paul didn’t say he would try to convince the Corinthians of the harmlessness of meat, but he complied by not eating it even if he personally thought it was fine. It’s the same thing for a relationship, the limit must be chosen together so that both partners feel at ease, where no one feels like that they are sinning.
Jesus takes the matter of respect seriously. He says in Luke 17 that it is better for a person to be thrown into the sea, a stone tied to their neck, than being responsible for the sin of a child of God. Regardless of someone’s personal definition of what is sin and what is not.
Love is all about respect.