If your faith is really important to you, you need to marry someone that not only claims the title of “Christian”, but really demonstrates their commitment to Christ. Where could you find such a person? Surprisingly, they may be outside of your local church!
Many studies and surveys have been made to find out where married couples met. Some are from major newspapers like the Wall Street Journal, some are from smaller Christian magazines that are based on local surveys. Some others were compiled by academics like the University of Chicago. When we take the results and make a general overview (which isn’t based on a scientific formula), we can find some interesting conclusions. First, we see that only a few couples actually meet in their local church. In fact, only about 10% of marriages were formed from two members of the same church! So if you still haven’t found the love of your life in your church, don’t be discouraged! Look at the statistics: you are not odd or a hopeless case! About 90% of people will find their life partner outside of their local church!
Several pastors quote 2 Corinthians 6.14 to encourage their members to date only Christians. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (NIV) And we fully agree: your salvation is more important than your social status. But Christians are not only found in your local church!
As several studies and surveys shows, just as many couples (10%) met in events (such as conferences, conventions, concerts). Also 15% found their match in school or their workplace. Yes, you can meet Christians who share the same faith as you at work or at school. Obviously, you will need to clearly show your faith to find that rare gem that shares the same beliefs as you.
Although it’s still a taboo subject in most churches, we can’t ignore that 30% of modern couples (those married in the last 10 years), met online! There are, of course, many people that are not genuine online, even on sites that label themselves as Christian. It is important to filter the results of your search, but that doesn’t change the fact: the Internet is a popular place to meet the person you could marry. (See our other article on tips to safely navigate these websites.)
Finally, the most popular way that couples meet: by friends! More than one out of three couples (35%) were formed this way. It’s important to choose your friends well, and then invest in those relationships so you can share your search with your closest friends. Some singles avoid the subject. Don’t! You need to talk to your friends so you can multiply your opportunities! We’re not saying to only use your friends to search for a mate, since that will exhaust all your friendships, but don’t hide either.
Finding a husband or wife in your local church has several advantages. First, you’re in the front row to see their active faith. You can also ask your pastors or other authority figures for “references” and advice. If you’re in the same church, you will also have similar doctrinal bases, which can prevent future debates. There are certainly many benefits, but don’t confine yourself to looking exclusively in your local church. Share your faith with your friends, your family, your colleagues; participate in all kinds of Christian activities, and don’t be religious or legalistic. These are attitudes that all Christians should have, and for Christian singles, they are ways that can help you find your life partner.