It’s the holidays! Twinkling lights, tasty aromas from the oven and happy gatherings. But when you say family, you also face THE most irritating question: “Why are you still single?”.
“A beautiful woman like you, how come you’re still single?” The guys get harassed as well by their families: “You have a good job, when are you going to settle down?” There will always be an uncle or two, or some aunts and cousins to come and ask you “the” question. It’s inevitable … and very irritating. Especially for someone that has been single for years. So what can you do, to not get annoyed or angry?
First, remember that behind these questions are good intentions. It’s rare that people will ask you about your social status to persecute you on purpose. Most people, when they ask you questions, it’s because they really love you and want you to be happy. They want to see you happily married, surrounded by adorable children. 1 Cor 13.5 (NKJV) says that love “thinks no evil”. Love your family enough to keep in mind that they don’t want to pour salt in the wound, they are not evil, they just want you to be happy.
That said, to reduce the irritation that these questions bring, you just have to prepare your answers! This way, you won’t have to smile stupidly, or feel trapped. Here are some answers that you can use, depending on the person asking you the question :
“I’m waiting for you to introduce me to someone!”
This is a good answer to give someone who would be too embarrassed to try to find you a partner! Don’t try this with a resourceful person, unless you really want some help. Personally, I used this response with my father, and he would change the subject immediately!
“I do not know. Why, do you think I’m still single?”
This is an answer to give to an old aunt, for example, who loves to talk for hours and who will happily give you advice. Even if you don’t share her opinions, there’s no harm in listening. Who knows, you might find some good ideas! Just remember, the more she talks, the less you will have to!
“Because I have small things in my life that I need to put in order. I want to be able to give the best to my future husband (or wife). Don’t you think?”
No one will criticize you for wanting to be a better person. You are not trying to find a perfect person, you are working on yourself : what a beautiful attitude! Ending with the question “Don’t you think?” should always give you a positive answer, then you can quickly change the subject.
“It will happen, I’m not worried. Can you tell me how you and your husband/wife met?”
This is the perfect answer for people you don’t see very often. This will transfer the focus onto them, rather than on you. You will also find easy exit topics, new topics of conversations as they tell you their story.
How about you? Do you have any other answers to share with us? Let us know in the comments or on Facebook.