Guys, you can skip this post; Ladies, this article is for you. After meeting several women in private counseling, we realized that some women are still single because they don’t have the proper definition of a “husband”.
My parents divorced when I started school. Since then I lived alone with my mother. We had to do all the tasks in the house by ourselves, even mowing the lawn and trimming the bushes. Two tasks that neither my mother nor I liked to do. One day my mother told me: “I would like to remarry so that he could mow the grass, trim the bushes, repair what was broken in the house, and so on.” I replied, “But that’s not a husband you need, it’s a slave!” And we laughed.
It was not very far from reality. During our private counseling sessions, we often hear single women telling us they want to be married to a man who will pray with her, make her laugh, who will cuddle her, loves what she cooks and follows her in the projects or ministries that she already has. In fact, she shouldn’t look for a husband, but a puppy! A dog will meet her needs of attention, affection, and will follow her everywhere. She just has to teach it to close its eyes when they pray and voila!
You don’t have to wait to be married to make projects. There is nothing wrong with being a woman with big ambitions, but the chapter you write while you’re single may need to close completely when you meet a man. Yes, there are women who have achieved fame and success, and who are married to a submitted man that follows them everywhere. However they represent a small handful of women around the world, and often these marriages are not very strong.
Because a marriage is not based on one person. It’s shouldn’t be one person making the plans and projects and the other simply follows it! It’s not a new chapter in your book, it’s a new book that you will write together. If you are not ready to abandon your plans and your dreams to form new ones with your husband, you are not ready to get married. Think about it, it just makes sense, even a man that doesn’t have many ambitions will still have some preferences and wants. Which man wants to become married to become a slave?
Don’t worry: it’s not because you decide to put your personal dreams aside to pursue new dreams, that your personal passions will never be satisfied. Let’s take the example of a young woman with an extraordinary voice who dreams of a career in music. While she was single all her energy, money and time is dedicated towards her dream. But if she decides to marry, she must accept that her energy, money and time will now be primarily dedicated to her husband and her family. If singing is her passion and her talent, she will probably marry a man who respects and admires her talent and so encourages her in this area. Maybe he will be a musician himself and they will form a musical dream together. To abandon the dreams we have when we are single does not mean we will have a miserable life. It only means that we can’t choose to continue to live as we lived when single, hoping to add a husband to our plans that follows us in all our decisions.
Some single women are so busy, so attached to their projects, that they shouldn’t seek a husband, they should simply buy a puppy, and get it baptized! Re-read Proverb 31. Her husband praises her, her children call her blessed, because she works hard, for the success of her house first and foremost! Yes, she is successful in business, and she is recognized by everyone, but her family is her priority. Want to get married? Are you ready to give up your life as you know it? Remember: you need to write a new book, not a new chapter.