If you were asked to make a list of everything you want, and then put all these desires in order of priority, what would be in first place? What is your greatest desire?
Since birth we are looking to have our desires met; legitimate desires, like “I’m hungry” or less essential desires, like “I want to go South!”. The more intense the desire becomes, the more we will do to respond to it. It takes more and more space in our mind, and it will also be reflected in our spending habits.
For some singles, their first desire is to get married, to find this special person. Their quest will often be in their thoughts, they will spend money and time in trying to find a partner. Their choice of movies or books, and what they will say will be oriented in that direction. There is nothing wrong with having that desire, but should it dominate your priority list?
Jesus had nothing against marriage, but His priority was to make the Father known. “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17.3 NIV) Chapter 17 in the Gospel of John is the transcript of Jesus’ prayer, which is quite rare in the Bible. The Son of God had one request to make of His Father. He did not ask for us to be rich, happy, or even healthy. He asked Him to protect us and to make us one with Christ, and therefore one with the Father. Jesus’ greatest desire was for us to have a personal and intimate relationship with God. A deep desire shared by God Himself, according to the Apostle Paul. In 1 Timothy 2:3-4 he wrote: “This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” (NIV)
If Jesus had this desire and God the Father shares the same strong feelings, should we not have the same for our top priority? When we experience frustration or we feel alone; when we have the impression of not being “complete” or we lack something, it’s often because our priorities are not in the right order. When we take the time to put our desires in the right order, we immediately feel at peace, because when our primary desire is to know God more, it will always be answered. Isn’t what Psalm 37.4 (NIV) says? “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
So if you feel sad, feel like you are missing something, talk freely to Jesus about it. Be as honest as David was in his Psalms. Jesus lives in you anyway, so he knows what is going on in your heart. But after, put your desires in the right order. “Jesus, I’d really like to share my life with someone, it’s really what I want. But there’s one thing I want more and it’s to be in your arms. I wish above all to know you more because you’re wonderful because you’re here with me, you never abandoned me…” and so on. You will see that peace will come back quickly. Even if you don’t feel the desire to get closer to God, don’t listen to your emotions. Your spirit desires to be in the Presence of God. Let your spirit guide you to long for God as a deer pants for streams of water (Ps 42.1-2 NIV).
You know, once you’re married, you may still have times of dissatisfaction. Perhaps you’ll say “I would like some time to myself” or “I would like the baby to finally sleep” or “I really would like to move or change jobs”, etc. However, the desire to know Jesus more should always remain on the top of your list of wants. If you practice keeping up with this list while you’re Single, it will be easier to keep it up when you’ll be married. You will end up being a more peaceful partner, and a more stable parent. “For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul”, says the Lord, in Jeremiah 31.25 (NKJV).