Millions of singles are going on-line to find a partner. Even if the environment is virtual, their motivations should be true and healthy. However, this is not always the case!

(What does the Bible say about on-line dating? Read our other article on the subject.)

Wrong reason # 1: “It worked for my friend, so I`ll try it too.”

Yes, a lot of couples meet on-line, but just because this method worked for your friend, it doesn’t mean that it will work for you.

If you are the sociable type, where you have no problem having a conversation with a stranger, you’ll probably be bored by Internet dating. If you have trouble getting your emails, or spending time in front of a monitor bores you to death, dating websites are not the best idea for you. If you are paranoid where you don’t trust people, then on-line dating will drive you crazy! In short, the virtual world is not made for everyone: do not place yourself in an uncomfortable position.

We will add here that if you are not comfortable with this method, don’t condemn it! This may not be good for you, but it could be someone else’s cup of tea. Don’t judge.

Wrong reason # 2: “I’m tired of waiting for God!”

In the Bible, there are many disastrous examples where people decided to go their own way instead of waiting for the hand of God. King Saul, for example, decided to make a sacrifice, even if only priests were allowed to do so. His impatience cost him his crown and even denied his son access to the throne (see 1 Samuel 13).

Waiting for God does not mean that you shouldn’t do anything either. It’s all in the attitude of the heart. If you decide to subscribe to a dating website and you put all your hopes of meeting someone in this method, you’re wrong. You can subscribe to show your availability without making it an obsession. Don’t visit the website every day and just stay open to others doors that God might open. Your hope is in God, not on dating websites.

Being tired of waiting, even being angry at God because your prayer has not been answered, is normal. Our human nature always wants an immediate answer to all our desires. God knows our heart and our frustrations. You can talk to Him openly. But after telling Him your frustrations, give Him the chance to answer your prayers, don’t take control!

Wrong reason # 3: “So no one will know that I am tired of being single.”

Some Christians are perfect candidates for marriage. They are on fire for God, they are good servants and they are successful in everything they do. To others, they display a confident smile when asked about their social status, but alone in their room, they admit to God that they are tired of being single. Something they would never dare say to their brothers and sisters.

Going on-line becomes a secret way to search for the “one”. Beware : all that is done in secret is very dangerous. Especially when it comes to on-line dating. To protect ourselves from potential predators, you should always keep your friends informed. Drop your pride, there is nothing wrong with wanting to meet someone. Do not hide in a virtual world. Think about it: if you do find a rare gem, will you lie about where you met? Living in secret always brings lies : don’t enter this evil spiral.

Wrong reason # 4: “I will be able to satisfy my sexual urges.”

Several non-Christian dating sites encourage one-night stands. Even on some Christian sites you will find individuals who seek a sexual conquest. It is easy to satisfy carnal impulses through the Internet. But that’s not what a child of God should be looking for.

Yes, singles have moments when the desires of the flesh are intense. But it’s not by satisfying this urge that those desires will be permanently met. And it’s certainly not what God desires. If you are in one of those “hot” moments, put your computer aside, take a cold shower, and talk to your God. Jesus lived in a human body, He knows what is happening in your head. “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor 10.5 NIV), and keep your search pure.

Wrong reason # 5: “It will allow me to forget my ex.”

On dating websites, you will have a ton of profiles to choose from! But behind these profiles, remember that there are human beings. If you’re still attached to your “ex” emotionally, you are not ready to look for someone else. Switch roles: would you like to be the substitute, the one that helps Mrs. forget her old boyfriend? Certainly not! You want to be loved as you are and not be constantly compared to someone else. Dating websites are not shopping centers where you only look at the goods. Be respectful, be serious.

Wrong reason # 6: “Because I can just show my good side.”

Some boys are quite shy (and some girls too). When they meet a girl, they lose their minds and they start talking nonsense. Subscribing to an on-line dating website can help them polish their first impressions. And that’s fine.

What isn’t good is when someone alters their image to hide their flaws! Lying is a sin. If you post a picture of you that doesn’t look like you, you’re lying. Are you 60? Don`t put a picture of yourself when you were 25. If you have a full figure, you can find a photo that makes you look good, but not one that hides your weight either! Otherwise, your first meeting will be disastrous. Be honest.

Remember that…

If you are respectful, honest and God-fearing, it should be easy to follow these steps. But be careful: the reason we have these tips is because many people do not follow them! Stay alert when you subscribe to a dating website. You will find people who only want sex, who are ashamed to be there, who lie about their appearance or past, or who have not really given their lives to God. Rest assured, you will also find people who have good intentions and who have a heart for God, just like you!