Why am I still single? What is it about me that pushes possible matches away? Being single is not always easy on our self-esteem.
Sometimes we think that if we were a little more beautiful or a bit funnier, younger or less chubby (the list is endless), we would have more success in finding “the one”. These thoughts leave us disappointed about ourselves and can easily lead to discouragement.
Therefore, it’s important that we build our self-esteem on what does not change: Christ. It’s not our social status that will dictate our self-love. Even if we are not “in love”, it doesn’t mean that we are not loved or loveable! Although no one has discovered our value yet, that doesn’t mean we don’t have any!
The New Century Version (NCV) of the Bible translates Jude 1:20 in a very interesting way : “But dear friends, use your most holy faith to build yourselves up, praying in the Holy Spirit.” In other versions, we read “edify yourselves”. The word “edify” is often used in Christian churches to describe a feel-good message, something encouraging. We will say “the teaching was very edifying today”. But in this verse, the Greek word used is “epoikodomountes”, which is better translated “building up”.
Jude encouraged believers to build themselves on their faith. He was probably speaking about building our passion, enthusiasm, and convictions, but also everything related to our soul. It is not God that builds our self-esteem, this is our own responsibility. It’s not other people that build our value; not our relationships that should define it. We must build ourselves on our faith: body, soul and spirit.
Building one’s self should be a priority. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit; we must maintain this “building”, continue to build every day through prayer and Bible study. We should do this simply because of our passion for Christ. However building our self-esteem is also very convenient for future relationships. People who are confident in themselves are much more attractive than those who match the criteria of magazines for beauty but have a poor self-esteem.
It’s not surprising! If a man begins dating a woman who has a low opinion of herself, he will have to spend a lot of time giving her compliments just for her not to fall into a pity-party. Living with someone who continually thinks poorly of themselves, who is not self-confident, is a very heavy burden to live with. Having a good self-esteem makes us much more pleasant to be with.
How do we build ourselves on our faith? By reading, studying and accepting what God tells us. Yes, we were sinners, without purpose, without hope, before giving our lives to Christ. But when He saved us, and we made Him our Lord, we become children of God. Heirs of all the promises for priests, saints, ambassadors, and more!
There will always be times when the enemy will use our singleness to bring us down. In these sad moments when you doubt your value, look at the cross. God did not send his only Son to die in excruciating pain for an insignificant worm. You have a lot of value in His eyes. Build yourself on your faith.