Being single is not a disease. There are even advantages to being single. Pay attention, as some of these advantages, can quickly turn into dangers.
The message of Christ has always been the same. “Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends”, (John 15:13 NKJV). He demonstrated this by dying on the cross to save us. We will probably never have to make the same extreme sacrifice that Jesus did for us, but still, He said : “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15.12 NKJV)
As Christians, we are called to serve others, and even give what we have to those in need. “He answered and said to them, “He who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food, let him do likewise.” (Luke 3.11 NKJV) We should be generous, even to our enemies! “To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either.” (Luke 6.29 NKJV)
We often hear people trying to encourage singles by telling them : “It’s great to be single, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however, you want it!” And it’s true, up to a point. When we’re single and want to invite a friend over for supper, we don’t need to ask anyone for permission. Once we’re married, and if we have a healthy relationship, we need to ask our partner if he or she is willing to have a friend over that night. We ask because we love our partner, and we don’t want to impose our decisions on them. It the same for several other aspects of our lives.
In a healthy relationship, we are no longer masters of ourselves, we are at the service of the other (Ephesians 5.22-33). When we’re single, we don’t have this restriction. But careful : this “freedom” can easily become selfishness.
A woman who was single for several years had gotten used to always watching the same show every Wednesday. When her sister asked her to come over to pray with her, on a Wednesday evening, she declined as politely as possible. She could have just recorded her show and watched it later. But it was not just a show, there was a ritual attached to it. She would put on her pajamas, make herself a nice latte in her favorite cup, wrap herself in a comfy blanket and curl up on her couch. This was her little pleasure. Since she had been single for a long time, she started this ritual and it was making her happy. “It’s my life, after all, I can do whatever I want, so tonight, it’s no”, she would tell herself.
And that is her mistake. Christ died on the cross to save our lives from eternal death. To be saved, we must not only accept the sacrifice that Christ made, and recognize that Christ is our Savior; but we must also give our life back - so Christ becomes our Lord. To be saved means that our life belongs to Him. We cannot say : “This is my life, I have the right to do what I want.” Paul clearly expressed this in Galatians 2.20 (NKJV) : “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Healthy married couples develop the habit of “sacrificing” themselves for each other. However, we don’t need to be married to obey the commandment of Jesus. We can do it while we are single. To keep a good balance between “giving ourselves” and “taking care of ourselves”, we have to put our life in God’s hands. We must let Him decide when we must sacrifice our favorite evening and when we have time for ourselves. If we practice this habit of letting God decide our agenda, it will be easier once married, to make sacrifices for our loved one.