The vast majority of single people have asked this question once in their lifetime. Some refused to ask it because they feared the answer. Let’s see what the Bible says about it.

Few verses speak about celibacy. Since the beginning of time, as soon as God asked man and woman to multiply, mankind saw in marriage an obligatory passage. For a very long time, even today, staying single is not received well. Celibacy is sometimes considered a time of waiting or preparation before marriage. As if “real” life only begins after marriage … which is ridiculous, of course.

Several important figures in the Bible were single. Jesus being, of course, the clearest and most cited example. But there are more such as Jeremiah, Daniel, Paul, Timothy, and even Anne the prophetess (a widow). In fact, Paul even says in 1 Corinthians 7:8 that it is better not to marry. So, does God want me to marry or to remain single?

The answer comes from Jesus. “But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this saying, but those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19.11-12 WEB)

In other words, there are people who are actually called to be single, not to marry. They were called “eunuchs” at the time. As Jesus describes, some never had this desire to get married, never thought about it since they were born. Others have lost this desire because of physical reasons (injuries, illnesses, etc.). And others don’t have this desire because they have a heart to advance the Kingdom of God more than any other personal project. For Paul, not having the desire to marry is an exceptional gift from God. “Yet I wish that all men were like me. However each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind.” (1 Cor. 7:7 WEB)

Not everyone has the “gift” of celibacy. (Some readers here will breathe a sigh of relief!)

Each person should take the time, at some point in their life, to self-examine and seriously think about the question: “Do I really want to get married?” Maybe you have the gift of celibacy, but your family or society is pushing you to look for a partner? “Wanting to have what everyone has”, is often the cause of many ills.

We do not choose to marry to satisfy our own selfish desires. Marriage is a lifetime commitment before God, where you swear that you will take care of another person. That you will make that person happy, that you will serve them with all your strength. Is this really what you desire deep down no matter what the world around you says?

If you wish to marry, well good news, God is not against it either! You can go on to the next step: what to do to meet a potential partner. At the same time, try to find out what God wants you to do for his Kingdom before you get married.

If you realize that you do not have this desire, accept this gift of God and live it thoroughly. Stop trying to fit into a mold and enjoy your state of grace. It will not always be easy, but God will be with you in a very special way.