We hope you know that we will not meet our life partner by staying in our basement; we have to take some steps in the right direction. To ensure success in our quest, it’s good to follow these three attitudes.
You have decided to take care of your love life this year. You have enrolled in various Christian activities to increase your opportunities to meet someone. Very good! You also revised your list of criteria as we suggested two weeks ago. Bravo! Now, before you start your quest, take the time to examine your heart. It’s not enough to know what to do to find THE one, nor to know what kind of person we are looking for, we must also proceed in the right way, with good attitudes.
- Without Obsession …
Decide before even starting that you will not make your love quest an obsession. Even if you are tired of being single and want to “settle” this aspect of your life once and for all, you should never make your search a top priority. There is nothing more repulsive than a Single who is obsessed with finding a partner. It will exhaust your friends to hear you lament and your pastors will run away when they see to ask them “again” for prayer about that!
Joking aside, you may be Single, but that’s not all you are. You are also a child of God on a mission to grow His Kingdom. Marriage is not the purpose of your life; Your calling (the reason why God saved you) is the one thing that should remain at the top of your priorities. Make sure you manage your time and your thoughts well so it reflects your priorities.
- Without pride …
Some Christians spiritualize the whole process. They wait for God to send them the exceptional, perfect being, and in their expectation, they do absolutely nothing. They only pray and proclaim biblical passages (often taken out of context). Behind this attitude sometimes lies the fear of making a mistake, but most of the time, it is pure pride.
For example, a young Christian woman may see herself so holy, so precious, that she expects God himself to come down from heaven to present her a perfect prince in every aspect. (He has already done it, and this prince is called Jesus, but that is another subject!) Or a young man may say he is waiting for the perfect wife, spiritually, in submissive and with a dream body. God will not send you a particular person. He has never done it for anyone. (Except for Adam, but there was only one other person on Earth!) He has surrounded you with many imperfect Christians and He gives you free choice. Just as with Ruth, who made several steps to get noticed by Boaz, we have steps to take. We must consult God and always act according to His will. However, we must not expect God to do all the work for us.
Finding a partner without pride also means placing oneself in a position of service. Marriage is not there to satisfy our selfish needs. It is a lifetime commitment that we take before God, to serve and take care of that other child of God. Seeking the perfect person to serve, instead of the perfect person who will serve us, makes all the difference in our results.
- Without compromise
It is true that it can be frustrating to see non-Christian singles around us finding partners. They do not follow all the rules of holiness to respect, which may seem easier to them and therefore unfair to us. This is also what Asaph thought, as he puts it in Psalm 73. Everything seems simpler for the wicked, he says. “Until I entered God’s sanctuary, and considered their latter end.” (Psalms 73.17 WEB) The cure for frustration? Return to the sanctuaries of God.
It is necessary to have a good time with God when these frustrations happen because if we do not, we risk accepting the compromises of the enemy. The compromises begin slowly, they seem trivial, but they always lead us in a way that brings us more and more away from God and our calling. You may have criteria to change on your list, but you should never change your position in Christ. After all, your eternal salvation is far more important than your social status.