Christian singles want to meet others like them, but they are often afraid to go to activities for singles because they are afraid to go to a “meat market”. How can we calm this fear?

I remember one singles event organized years ago. I was single and wanted to eventually get married, so I agreed to go with one of my friends. It was a “dancing supper”, and the evening was very long! Too many people had decided to go there to find a partner. Even if the music was Christian, on the dance floor, there was a “meat market” atmosphere. Men and women were evaluating each other, just like in a market. I really did not like my experience, and I did not want to go back to those types of activities.

A pastor told us that he did not want to organize activities for the singles in his church because the last time he did, there was one man for every five women and they were throwing themselves at the man! In churches, these horror stories are heard again and again. It is often because we have had a disturbing experience that we refuse to participate in other activities. Are we right to avoid all activities for singles for fear of ending up in another “meat market”?

Of course not! Start by choosing activities that you like or enriches you. If you like board game nights, for example, and such an evening is organized for singles, take part in it with joy. Go to play games, and focus on that. Then, if nobody catches your eye, you will not feel like you wasted your time.

Let’s take another example: your church’s singles ministry organizes a potluck. You are a woman and you agree to go there with the sole intention of finding a partner. When you arrive, there are only women present. Since you placed yourself in the mindset of finding a man, you will be disappointed with the event, and you will surely leave quickly. But if you had decided to go and make friends, taste different dishes, and encourage the organizing committee the evening will be a great success for you. The same activity, but two totally different results. Why? Expectations change everything.

To avoid the feeling that you are in a “meat market”, go to the activities with friends. It’s the isolated people in the corner who are easy prey. If you are surrounded by good friends, not only are you less likely to attract desperate singles, but you will have your own source of joy. If the activity is far from as fun, you can laugh and joke with your friends.

Now, if you get pestered by someone, talk to them about Jesus. If these singles are truly filled with the Spirit, they will not be desperate. If they are belligerent or too enterprising, the very mention of the name of Jesus will cool them rather quickly. If this does not push them away, you will at least have put Christ back in the center of your discussions, and by doing so, you all win.

Finally, if you want to avoid “meat markets”, but want to participate in activities for singles … organize some yourselves! Start with your close friends. Have so much fun together that other people will want to join you. As you continue you will have more and more contacts. This is the secret of a fulfilling social life: being open and having fun.

At Passion374, we organize activities to entertain singles, not to hunt a partner! For example, we will never organize speed-dating events. An evening of worship or playing board games, an improvisation class or an urban rally, activities that would be just as much fun for groups of friends or even married couples.

So refuse to be afraid of attending activities for singles! Go have fun and learn, with no other expectations and you will definitely have a great evening. You will make all sorts of friends, and if one of these friendships develops into something more serious, wonderful! Manage your expectations in this sense and you will not be disappointed!