The fears are real: women are afraid of falling for a serial killer, and the men don’t want to meet a girl who doesn’t look like her profile picture. However, the real danger of dating sites is unique and much sneakier!
Today, the Internet is the extension of our world. We can meet friends, relax in front of a good movie or shop. Everyone uses it, Christians and non-Christians. The Internet is even used by pastors looking to expand their ministries by publishing ebooks and podcasts. So it’s no surprise that people use it to find their life partner.
What does God say about online dating? Nothing, of course. In fact, the Bible does not give a unique way to find your spouse. People can fall in love in all kinds of ways. What is important to God is to stay pure in the process and to choose someone who will work with you to advance His Kingdom.
God does not judge the tool, He is interested in what we do with our tools. A car, for example, is a simple tool. You can use it in a way that is not pleasing to God by going to an erotic store or selling drugs. Or you can use it to please God by driving people to church or to testify to people who are not saved. It’s the same with the Internet. It is only a tool at your disposal to make your life easier. God does not judge the tool, He looks at how you use it.
Just as with different tools, there are all kinds of dangers associated with dating sites. For example, we must be careful when exchanging personal data with strangers. Even on dating websites that call themselves “Christian”. We must also be careful when subscribing, as some malicious sites could use financial traps and unethical practices.
But the biggest threat of a dating website is… isolation.
When Christian singles register on a dating site, they often feel guilty about doing so. This method is put down by many religious Christians, so the singles are ashamed and keep their quest hush-hush. Now, secrets make the best garden for the enemy. In nature, predators do not attack whole herds. They sow division, then isolate a victim. Alone the victim then has no chance, and the enemy does the same to the children of God.
It is not a sin to use Christian dating sites, so begin by refusing shame or judgment, no matter where it comes from. Then find strong, faithful Christians and openly share with them your steps. Choose to be accountable to them and keep them informed of your dates. Show them your profile and ask for advice. Calculate the time you invest on these sites, and make sure that you spend more time in God’s Presence than searching profiles. Do not hide!
In fact, isolation is a danger that is not unique to dating sites. As soon as a relationship cuts you off from your friends and family, and especially as soon as a relationship takes you away from your congregation and reduces your time of devotion with God, you are in danger. No matter the method you used to find one that made your heart beat faster.
To remain pure in our quest and ensure that we always keep God at the forefront, we must be transparent and accountable, especially when using dating sites. Being alone with our computer makes it too easy to isolate ourselves, especially when we feel judged.
Therefore, I wish to conclude with a warning to the Christians that are too religious. The use of dating sites is not a sin. If you continue to judge singles who are thinking of using them, you are responsible for their isolation. Jesus did not come to judge, but to save (John 12:47), so do not judge your brothers and sisters. Just because you do not understand something, does not make it evil! By being intransigent, you do not keep singles in holiness, you push them to isolate themselves and into danger. Do not jump to conclusions without seriously studying the issue. Please! It is for the salvation of many of your fellow believers!