This can happen to us in all kinds of areas, including our relationships. Everything seems to be good, and suddenly, the situation is completely reversed. We are faced with a failure that we had not even thought possible. What happened?
Even before analyzing the reasons, it is important to pause and ensure that we analyze the right elements. We must not let the enemy crush us by this defeat. It is not because this plan failed that our whole life is a failure! No matter how great our problem is, we must remember that this is only a momentary problem and God’s love for us is eternal and unconditional.
Once the sad situation is set in context, it is good to reflect on what may have led to this result, to avoid repeating it. Here are some possible reasons to consider…
- Lack of communication
In a couple, there are two people. Each of them has their own way of thinking, analyzing the present moment and forming their own conclusions. Two people can live the same experience, and one will be delighted and the other one very disappointed. That’s why it’s important to always communicate well. If a woman refuses the invitations of a man because she is afraid of going too fast, but she does not tell him that reason, he will think that she simply does not want him. She may lose a potential spouse due to a lack of communication. It’s not always easy, to be honest, but it always pays off.
- Lack of initiative
We often leave it to the man to do the first steps, saying that he is the conqueror. But some men are shy, either because they went through bad experiences or because they are not very social. For them, smiling at a girl is a big step. If the girl in question waits for him to do a chivalrous battle to win her, she may miss a charming and sensitive man. The girl can also make few steps, she has the right to take an initiative. Do not let laziness, or pride, hold you back.
(Girls, you can read this other article on this subject)
- A premature sense of attachment
Sexual relations are not just the union of two bodies. Sex also creates a strong emotional bond between two partners who love each other. As soon as a couple has sex, it will be very difficult to separate them from each other. Which is perfect when we are married! But if these sexual relations happen outside of marriage, a false sense of attachment, of “everything-is-fine” in the couple is created. And if one of the partners decide to leave, the break up will be very painful. It is better to follow the plan of God to the letter, He knows all things.
- False Prophecies
In some Christian circles, “prophetic messages” are very popular. But it is important not to accept all these words that are given to us “in the name of the Lord.” Always check to see if they really come from God (1 John 4:11). Sometimes some older women desire so badly that two young lovebirds get married, that they can “imagine” signs from Heaven! Or, if a young man comes to tell a girl that God has told him that she should marry him, she should tell him that if it is the will of God, He will tell her too! Some people filled with the Spirit of God could have a “word of knowledge” (1 Corinthians 12: 8) for you, telling you some pitfalls to avoid, but again, bring all these words to your Heavenly Father, and let Him guide you Himself.
- Lack of persistence
It is not because everything seems to be going well, that the situation comes from God. And conversely, it is not because everything goes wrong that God has forsaken you. Just consider Job! Sometimes God asks us to wait for His help (Lam. 3.23), and sometimes He asks us to fight (1 Tim 6: 12). Ask God to enlighten you, to tell you what position you should take. Do not forget that patience and perseverance are qualities that God wants us to develop.
- The error of the other
When a relationship fails, it may be the fault of the other. God gives us free choice, even if this may affect His children (the error of Moses left the Israelites in slavery for 40 more years). What if you believe that the other person made the wrong decision? Forgive them, seek healing for your heart, and let God present you His plan B. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. Do not hesitate to ask for help!
- No reason?
Can’t find a reason? There may be none. Some plans fail but we can not really identify the reason. Jesus reminds us that it rains on the good and on the wicked (Matt 5:45). You have the right to be disappointed, to be sad, but then raise your head. God has not forsaken you, and His plan for you goes far beyond your social status. You will miss all kinds of opportunities, but as long as you are alive, there will be others. God has not finished blessing you! (Lam. 3.22-23)