In the times we live in being firm on our point of view is seen as a positive trait. We see this as a high self-esteem. Pushed to the extreme, though, this behavior is nothing but pride. And pride … is a sin!

“For me, if a guy does not bring me flowers, excuse me, but that’s no!”, she says, waving her hand like a diva. “He is the one that has to run after me, and prove to me that he is worthy of me.” These words usually attract laughter from this woman’s friends. While being responsible for Passion374, my husband and I have seen this type of behavior especially in young women, but men can also display it in another form.

Women nowadays often prefer to associate themselves with images of heroines with superpowers, or ruthless businesswomen who display some form of success. They know what they want, they refuse to show any weakness and they are ready to shoot down everything to accomplish their goals. Some men can have a sexist attitude. Others become harsh and say: “You will not tell me what to do!” Others take advantage of every opportunity to take what they need or want, without thinking about other’s feelings.

This behavior is sometimes considered positive. We even admire these sharks or divas, and we make them models to follow. Others use the other extreme and are proud to say that they are the worst parents or unstoppable spenders, and so on. But the goal is the same: attract attention and justify who we are, all to avoid having to change or sacrifice. However, this is very far from the example of Christ. Everything that seeks to elevate our own nature, all these selfies and endless lists of demands, are all linked to pride. Do not forget that it was this sin that drove Lucifer out of heaven!

The letter that Paul wrote to the Romans applies well to the Christians of our time. “Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12: 2 WEB) We should not adopt the same egocentric attitude of this world. Especially when it comes to relationships.

Many men and women are still single because they do not have the right attitude to become the couple God desires. “Yahweh said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2.18 WEB) If the woman was looking for a man with the attitude of: “Who is the one I would like to help every day of my life?”, the results would be very different. “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:29 NIV). If the man was looking for a woman with the attitude of: “Who is the woman that I will take care every day of my life, as Christ does for the Church?”, the results would be very different.

Pride prevents us from taking the position of a servant in our relations. “Doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself.” (Philippians 2.3 WEB) Now if we want our marriages to be like the union of Christ and His Church, there can be no place for pride. When we are single and we are looking for a partner, we must already take this attitude.

We are not saying that we must be puppets, without opinions and without desires. God created us in His image, with authority and intelligence. But when we want to enter into the bonds of marriage, we must adopt a serving attitude towards one another, that is, that our needs pass after those of the other. If both partners make this commitment, before God, all needs will be met.

The egocentric attitude of our time is the opposite of the servant attitude that Christ has encouraged us to take. This is detrimental to a couple’s relationship, but also to the continuation of our calling. God gave each one of us specific talents to accomplish a personal mission in order to make the Kingdom of God grow. But to enter this calling we must also take the position of servant. This is not a very “glamorous” trait, but that’s what Jesus did for us, dying on the cross.

It is time to dissociate ourselves from this worldly attitude. Singles, look for the partner you are willing to serve, not the one who will meet all your needs. With such an attitude, not only will you display the character of Christ, but you will certainly be more attractive!