“God showed me in vision that you will be my wife!” Really? Can God really tell us who to marry by a vision or a dream? It sounds very spiritual, but it is important to use our discernment.

1 John 4:1 is very clear. “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” (KJV) It is not because someone says “God told me” that God actually told them something! We must not believe everything we hear. It is important to always consult the Lord and what the Bible says.

So let’s do it now! What does the Bible tell us about visions? In the Old Testament, few people received visions. This gift was generally manifested by a small handful of prophets. If we look at the visions of Daniel and Ezekiel, for example, their visions referred to the health and future of the nation. Other people had visions as well, such as Jacob and his ladder (Genesis 28:12) or the apostle Peter and his table (Acts 10: 9-16). In these cases, visions were a personal message from God to change their attitudes and bring them closer to the heart of God.

There has never been a vision about a future marriage in the Bible. No man of God as seen the woman he will marry in a vision. Some have had confirmations in dreams, however. Just like visions, dreams are often messages for the salvation (or destruction) of a nation. At other times, dreams serve as warning or confirmation. For example, an angel appeared to Joseph in a dream to encourage him to move forward in his intentions to marry Mary, even though she had become pregnant. It was one of the rare dreams that spoke of marriage, and in this case, they were already engaged. A man has never been ordered to marry a specific woman in a dream. The prophet Hosea was commanded by God to choose a prostitute, but God did not show him a particular prostitute; Hosea made his own choice.

If we rely on the Word of God (a rather reliable source, isn’t it?), it is possible to have a vision or a dream to confirm our decision, but never to tell us a specific person to marry. Especially if the other person has no feelings for you! So do not jump to conclusions quickly if you dream about getting married to a particular person. Dreams, however bizarre they may be, do not always mean something. Remember that dreams are also the way our brains sort out all the information and emotions we experienced in a day. Even Ecclesiastes mentions this. “For a dream comes through much activity, and a fool’s voice is known by his many words.” (Eccl.5.3 NKJV)

Visions, dreams… it could also be only our imagination! Our imagination can sometimes bed triggered by the lust of our flesh. We want something so badly (or someone) that we begin to see them wherever we go. We feel like everyone is talking about it and we can “imagine” signs of heaven.

One way to know if your vision or dream comes from God is to pass it through the filter of the Bible. That is to see if your vision or dream has the same purpose as those found in the Word. Does your vision or dream tell you something to do (or a direction of prayer) to advance the Kingdom of God? Does this glorify the Lord? Does this vision or dream confirm a direction that God has already given you personally? Does this bring you closer to the heart of God?

What if we dream about marrying a particular person? First and foremost: keep your heart, do not get carried away! Perhaps this dream only shows you the type of person you want to marry. Perhaps it is purely your lust that gives you these ideas, and if so, repent! Nothing prevents you from speaking to them in a friendly way. Obviously, do not tell them that you had a dream about them: there is nothing weirder than hearing that from a stranger! But if this person has given their life to Christ, then you are of the same spiritual family. Go talk to them without embarrassment and especially without expectations. As you get to know them, you might meet their sister, brother or friend and this new person might be the one that makes your heart beat faster. The possibilities are endless! Only, keep your heart, your peace, your intelligence, and listen to the Holy Spirit. God has many other means in which to speak to you, besides visions and dreams!