Nowadays, it is not uncommon for unbelievers to move in together before getting married. But what about Christians? Should God’s children refrain from cohabiting before being married?

July 1st, in Quebec it’s a big waltz of moving trucks. That day, and throughout the rest of the month, thousands of Quebecers decided to change addresses. For some couples, this will be their first apartment together. Whether for practical matters or because the wedding is just around the corner. Some Christian couples also think about moving in together even if they are not married. But what does God think about this?

The Bible says nothing precisely about this because at the time it was written, it was not at all common for an unmarried couple to live together. Jacob lived for seven years in the family of his future father-in-law, before marrying his daughter. However, he did not live exclusively with her. He certainly did not share the same room! As in many areas related to our modern society, the Bible is not specific.

The issue with this practice is that couples who decide to cohabit are generally sexually active. And in this regard, the Bible is clear, sexual relations must be reserved for marriage. In Genesis 2:24 (WEB) it says: “Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.” There is an order of things here: one separates from one’s parents, one marries (attaches to one’s wife) and then the couple can become one flesh. Elsewhere in the Bible, whenever it comes to sex outside of marriage, it is to condemn it. (For more on this subject, read this other article.)

So, what about a couple who lives together, but are sleeping in different beds? In that case, is that acceptable? The Bible does not condemn this practice, but it does not encourage it either. However, it recommends having a conduct that allows Christian to keep an impeccable reputation. We should not conduct ourselves in a way that suggests that we are sinning. It will be difficult to defend our purity if we cohabitate before being married. (We talked about the importance of our reputation last week.)

Cohabiting before marriage is not in God’s plan. As Christians, we should desire to follow the steps as God has instituted them. There should be a difference between the behavior of a child of God and that of the world. This confirms our conversion to Christ. “But I openly proclaimed first to those at Damascus, then at Jerusalem and throughout the region of Judea, and even to the Gentiles, that they should repent [change their inner self—their old way of thinking] and turn to God, doing deeds and living lives which are consistent with repentance.” (Acts 26:20 AMP) Our conduct should confirm that we are different, that we are Christians, and that we follow not the fashions of the world, but biblical principles.

Do not be bribed by the idea that you must live together before you get married to “see if you are made for each other.” We do not need to “practice” to live a fulfilling marriage! If you know that the person you want to marry is a good candidate because they meet the few essential criteria for you, then get married! There is no need for a trial period, you will have all your life to learn to live together in harmony.