In activities for singles, participants are often shy at first. They look around with nervousness; a little on the defensive, with little desire to exchange with others. How to get out of this condition? With the support of the Holy Spirit!
During an activity for singles, in general, participants are reserved at the beginning. Even if it was made very clear that the activity was not going to be a “meat market” (see this other article for that purpose). This nervousness continues (or multiplies) when someone begins to communicate with an interesting person. Leading to the pinnacle of stress during the first date.
When stress binds us emotionally, so that we are no longer ourselves, it is time to look for the assistance of the Holy Spirit. “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Cor 3.17 NIV) In this verse, it speaks of the freedom we have to serve God, the freedom that is ours with our salvation. But this freedom also applies to us as while single.
God does not want his children to be chained by fear and shyness. He has given us special talents and like any good parent, He is proud of us. An American author once said that God is the type of parent who has a picture of his child in his wallet, and he shows it proudly to everyone he meets. (Or a photo as the wallpaper on his smart phone!)
If God is able to celebrate the best in us, why do we live in fear of what others think of us? Partly due to old hurts caused by past rejections. (These wounds should be healed or at least taken care of before entering into a relationship.) But sometimes it is pure pride! When we value ourselves too much, there is often a share of hidden pride behind it (read this other article to this effect). And pride is a sin!
Whether it is through fear or pride, let the Holy Spirit come and take care of your heart. Let Him take His sovereign place and you will find the freedom to be yourself. If you completely transform yourself to meet someone, the person who will fall in love with you will know you as a lie! The truth will eventually break out, which always causes horrible storms.
We often hear: “You will meet someone when you stop looking”. This is partially true. When our attitude changes, our results also change. When we stop pretending to be someone we are not, when we are finally ourselves, there are more possibilities of meeting the right person: one that is truly compatible with us.
Well, it’s important to add here that being ourselves does not mean keeping our bad habits. “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” (Gal. 5.13 NIV) If you spend uncontrollably, do not be proud of it! Nobody would start dating someone who never takes a shower! They can not say, “Well, you have to accept me as I am, it’s my freedom in Christ.”
You will not be perfect when you start looking for a partner, but you can enjoy the freedom of the Spirit even as you improve on other aspects. In short, whether it is changing for the better, being proud of your qualities or to be satisfied with your differences, all this is done by the Spirit. “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Phil. 2.13 NIV)
So, be filled with the Holy Spirit!