When we enter a new chapter of our life, we can do it without thinking, just groping and improvising, or we can take the time to prepare ourselves, so we avoid missteps.

Being single is not a step before marriage. You can be single and stay like that all your life if you want, there is nothing wrong with that. God has nothing against this social status, Jesus himself was single! But if you want to get married, God has nothing against that either! In fact, few have the gift of celibacy; most of us will want to get married one day. (To go deeper on this subject, read this other article.)

Like every other major change in your life, if you want to get married, it’s wise to prepare yourself for this next chapter. This is what Jesus recommends. “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14.28 ESV) What is the best way to prepare ourselves? Let’s look at the great speech of Moses, in the book of Deuteronomy.

The word “Deuteronomy” means “the second law” or the repetition of the first. It is indeed what Moses did in this book. He repeats what has already been said to a new generation who was preparing to cross the Jordan and enter the Promised Land. He begins by reminding the people of their history: their errors and the goodness of God. Then Moses reminds them of the laws and how the children of God must behave and communicate with their heavenly Father. Then he reminds them what their future will be if they behave well or if they decide to turn away from the truth.

Let’s do the same before embarking on a new stage in our lives. For example, you are single and you decide to start the process of meeting someone.

• First, take a good time with God to remind you of all the good things He has done for you. Consider the mistakes of your past and thank God for his forgiveness and the lessons you have learned from it.
• Then, remember the rules that God has asked you to follow in your next step. What are the rules about keeping your heart and your holiness while you start looking for a partner? You can even put them in writing if that helps you assimilate them.
• Finally, take a moment to imagine the blessings you will receive if you follow the rules of God and the curses that could happen if you do not follow them.

Once you have begun to date a special person that makes your heart beat faster, take the same important reflections before entering the next stage of engagement and marriage.

• Thank God for what He has done, remind yourself of your mistakes so you can learn from them, and be grateful for His grace.
• Then, remind yourself of the rules that God has given you concerning engagement and then of marriage.
• Finally, take a moment to imagine the blessings and curses that await you if you follow these rules or do not follow them.

This inspired model of Moses can also be applied to all areas of your life. Consider these three important considerations before entering the next stage of your calling or ministry, before entering a new job, before having your first child when you are married, and so on. If you are well-prepared, you will feel more confident and make fewer mistakes.