More and more singles are turning to dating websites. This increases the chances of finding a good match, but sometimes these precious pearls are far from home. Should we avoid long distance relationships?

Few Christians find their partner in their local church, the vast majority of couples meet outside their church. God has nothing against that! As long as He is in the forefront of the relationship, in the center and in control, the place where love is formed is of little importance. Whether on a missionary trip or an online encounter, it is possible for two singles living far from each other to begin to develop romantic feelings. These distant relationships are not impossible, they sometimes have advantages, but we must first consider some important points.

1. Who will move?
   Before letting your heart become too attached to this person, ask yourself if you are ready to move. If neither is ready to do so, put a stop to your thoughts to avoid drowning in an imaginary love story. Developing a relationship with someone you know you won’t ever be with is a waste of time and is very disappointing.

2. Virtual love or real love?
   When far apart, we only think of the good side and always present ourselves at our best. Virtual love, at first sight, is a common phenomenon. We must constantly evaluate the state of our heart. Do not fall in love with a picture or beautiful words. Keep a cool head until you meet that person in the real world.

3. Use technology to know each other
   If your correspondent lives far away from you, do a video chat fairly quickly. All advice for a first date applies here (dress decently, be on time, put aside all distractions, etc.). Subsequently, keep finding reasons to talk to them using a video conferencing service. For example, go see the same movie in your own cities and at the same time. Then do a video chat and talk about the movie. You can do many other activities together without being physically present. A little research on the Internet will give you a lot of ideas; choose the most appropriate ones and those that are sanctified.

4. Plan a face-to-face meeting early on.
   We get to know someone by seeing them interact with their loved ones. In fact, we do not just marry our fiancé, but (in part) their friends and family too. Getting to know each other’s parents is a crucial moment for a young couple, and it will be very difficult if you live several kilometers away from each other. Therefore we recommend doing everything you can to visit the person and their entourage face to face as soon as possible.

5. Enjoy the benefits
   A remote relationship has good sides as well. For example, you need to develop an independence that will be very beneficial to strengthen your family later. You will also be freer to talk about everything and nothing, without the “call of the flesh” distracting you. Since your online time will be counted, it will be much more valuable. Remote couples argue much less, but there is still tension: it’s normal. Finally, you will have less expense: you don’t need to go out to the restaurant to see each other!

6. Mistrust is normal
   In a long distance relationship, trust can take longer to build. It is common to have doubts about their sincerity; after all, they could be doing the same thing to several other people! We must remain on our guard because some criminals (or manipulators) use seduction at a distance to get money from naive people. As soon as your correspondent begins to beg you to send him a few dollars, run away: it is probably a scam.

7. Are you ready to pay the price?
   “Out of sight out of mind.” All relationships require effort and time, otherwise, you will gradually lose interest in it. In the case of a long distance relationship, the effort you need to put in is more because the distance forces us to be more cautious and more proactive. “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it” (Luke 14.28 NKJV). Apply this advice to a long distance relationship. Before starting such a relationship, think carefully about the efforts you will have to invest and make sure you are really prepared to spend it.