Last week, we gave you some tips on how to break up with grace and respect when a relationship does not work. Now, what if we are the one getting the bad news?

When we start a project, we look positively towards the future. Even people who say they live their relationship “day-to-day” still have some hope about the next step. So when this momentum ends, it’s not just our relationship that breaks down, it’s also our dreams and hopes that were tied to that relationship. It is a form of mourning. It is therefore important …

1. … to give time to mourn.
Enter your prayer room and open your heart to God. Tell him how you feel and then let God answer you with his Word. You feel ugly and worthless, the Bible will tell you that you have a lot of value (Isaiah 43:4) and that you are wonderfully created (Psalms 139:14). You have the right to cry. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NASB) says: “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.” You have been disappointed; tell it to your heavenly Father. He loves when his children empty their hearts at his feet (Psalms 34:18), and you will also feel much better.

2. … to heal wounds, big or small.
Even a short-term relationship will leave some wounds. Even if you have only exchanged a few messages over the Internet, and then they suddenly stopped writing to you, there will be a disappointment in your heart. Take the time to present these wounds to God and seek healing so that there is no root of bitterness that rises in your heart (Hebrews 12:15).

Also know that if you have not followed God’s plan for dating, and you have had sex while you were not yet married, your wounds will be much deeper. Sex creates a strong bond between the two partners, and a breakup is therefore much more painful.

3. … to forgive. Again, no matter how long the relationship was, no matter who was wrong, forgive the other person. Even if the other person is not in front of you. Forgiveness is to choose not to bring back the offense in our thoughts, it is to leave this person in the hands of God. You do not need this person in front of you for that: it’s your personal decision.

Also, take the time to forgive yourself. You may have made mistakes that led to this sad result. Recognize them and choose to use them as lessons. You have the right to make mistakes, we are all in the process of refinement. Learn and grow, and you will not feel like you have wasted your time.

4. … take the time to meet new people.
Do not rush into another relationship. Take time to rebuild yourself, be free from disappointment and love yourself again. Take the time you need, but do not stay years in sadness either! Choose to be optimistic, our Father is the God of resurrection after all! It is up to you to decide, at every moment, the thoughts that you keep and those that you refuse. You have the power to decide what controls you. Do not let bad experiences nail you to the ground.