Until recently your group of friends was woven tightly together. Texts of pranks or rumors abounded all day, and you were never alone on the weekends: it was party time! But now they are all married, all except you. What do you do?

This is one of the most difficult moments in the life of a single person: going to the wedding of your last single friend. Like all your other friends, they promise you that their marriage will not change anything in your friendship. They are probably sincere, but you know very well that it is not true. You hardly see your old friends anymore: they are far too busy with their family. Or, when you end up with your friends, they talk about life stories as a couple and discuss the latest triumph of their babies. It’s not that your friends do not want to hear your daily struggles being single, but you do not find your comments relevant. You feel disconnected.

A feeling that older singles also experience when their youngest child starts a family. The house becomes empty, the children are married and therefore too busy to visit or even call. Your friends are in a relationship and take advantage of their empty nest to finally travel the world. You gave everything to your family for years and now here you are alone.

In the beginning, you start by asking yourself what you did wrong, what opportunity you missed. “Oh, if I had not pushed Genevieve away, for that stupid little detail, I’d be married now.” “Oh, if I had taken care of myself during all these years, I would not be alone now.” Yes, you may have made mistakes, missed out on great opportunities - out of laziness, pride or self-denial. But what has happened is past, we can not go back. It is useless to cry about our past because if you are alive, there is still hope (see this other article).

So, what should you do now?

1. Learn from your mistakes
Yes, you can spend a few hours thinking about your mistakes, not to condemn yourself (far from it!), but to learn from it. Forgive yourself and choose not to repeat these mistakes. Take the opportunity to share your mistakes with other people who are in the same situation right now: may your experience help to build up your brothers and sisters.

Also, take time to think about the state of your heart. Do you have any character traits to refine? Inner wounds to heal? Maybe you are still single because you do not want to be in a relationship, and that’s fine too. The Bible is full of stories of singles who have made an important mark in the Kingdom of God.

2. Put your priorities in order
Having a good time with friends is wonderful: even the Bible says it! “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (Psalms 133:1 NKJV) And what about giving yourself to your family: what a remarkable sacrifice! But these beautiful things you devote yourself to should never be the goal of your life. Every Christian must always keep their service for God first. We were saved to grow the Kingdom of God, called to bear fruit (John 15:16), to gather the lost sheep (John 10:16), to reap the harvest (Matthew 9:37). “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9 NKJV).

If you find yourself alone: ​​perfect! No more distractions! You can finally give 110% to God! Get involved in your church, in organizations of all kinds; evangelize and make disciples! Pray fervently for all the new families around you - they will need it so much! Listen to the voice of God and invest where God asks you to go. God is not insensitive … He knows the desire of your heart. If it is your desire to marry, He will plant great opportunities as you walk in His will.

3. Make a new group of friends
You can (and should!) stay in touch with your married friends. They may be the best people to give you advice (and they will probably do it too often!). They may even help you find a good match. You may not see each other as often, but you have such a great history with them, enjoy it. Don’t hesitate to tell them about your feelings - without making them feel it’s their fault! If you are open to them, God will use them to comfort you.

But do not be dependent on them! There are other people on this Earth! Make new friends. One chapter ends, write another! It’s always a bit difficult to make new friends, but go, you can do it, and you will not regret it. Do not compare your new friends to those of your past; appreciate them for who they are.

4. Do you have to get married as soon as possible?
No. Do not look for a partner only to be like your friends! You are not incomplete because you are single. You do not have to get married to be happy. You can (and should!) plan a time in your weekly schedule to meet singles and open up to different opportunities, but you should not make it an obsession. It is not because you are the last single person in your group of friends that you have to hurry to join them! It really would not be fair to the person you are going to meet. “You’re not ideal, but hey, I have to get married!” No, please!

So come on, do not be discouraged! God has a plan for each of us: do not compare yourself to others. Learn, grow and move forward!