We often forget that Christians are not the only ones who are single and looking to get married. We need to remember that Christians and unbelievers do face the same issues. However, as Christians, we have another option that unbelievers don’t, God.

We came across this study from the University of Nicosia that ranked the top reasons men stay single. As stated this is based on answers given on Reddit, but given the anonymity provided by Reddit, the answers were shockingly honest and forthright.

We need to state here that we feel that the study is useful to the average man, but it is missing the key element in a Christian’s life, God. So we would like to go through the same list and provide some more Biblical advice to these issues.

There are 43 categories, based on 6794 responses. Personally, I see a lot of overlapping issues so I will regroup the categories into 4 major sections. All the categories will be listed since we have articles that discuss most of them already.

I have done my best to provide links to our articles that address specific issues. However, with almost 200 articles at the time of this writing, I may have missed some. Feel free to use the search feature and look for topics that you are interested in.

1. I am not good enough
Categories: Poor looks (including baldness and short stature), Low self-esteem/confidence, Introverted, Overweight, Shyness, Socially awkward, Poor character (character flaws), Lack of achievements, Lack of social skills, Sexual issue (performance more, asexual), Fear of relationships, I am not interesting, Fear of rejection, I will not be a good partner, Other: (Ex: I am not ready. Just very clingy)

In the end, all these answers revolve around one word: confidence. There are so many reasons why people tell themselves, and others, that they are not good enough. That is not how God sees you. Our Heavenly Father gave Jesus to die for you (John 3:16-17). You are worth so much more than you realize. Jesus would rather suffocate on a cross than give up on you (Matthew 26:38-39, Luke 23:46). That is how much you are worth. Yes, our bodies could be better, we could be smarter, better looking, etc. Those are all things we can work on. The only thing that matters is being the best child of God you can be. That will give you confidence in all situations, and confidence is attractive. Someone will see your passion for Jesus and it will resonate with them.

Again there is so much more to say. Good thing we already have. Click on some of the links above and find out who you are as a child of God.

2. I don’t want to
Categories: Low effort (not putting in effort), Not interested in relationships, Poor flirting skills more, Different priorities, Too picky, Lack of time, Enjoying being single (don’t want to settle down), Difficult to find women to match, Stuck with one girl (imaginary relationship), Lack of money, Fear of commitment, Not picking up clues of interest, Difficult to keep a relationship, No available women

In this list of categories, all I hear is “I don’t want to!”. These are all reasons or excuses but it boils down to the fact you need to put in more effort. These are the people that know what they need to change in their life, but simply do not want to.

I need to state here that we believe that being single is not a problem to be solved or a disease. You don’t have to get married. If you have the gift of celibacy, may God bless you as you live for Him. This section is for the type of people like my coworker. He was complaining that it is so difficult to find someone. I asked him what he was doing to look for someone, what steps he had done. “None” “So you should?” “Ya ya, I know I just don’t want to because….”

Put aside your pride. The Holy Spirit is working on making you a better child of God. Don’t fight Him, work with Him and you will see amazing fruit in your life. Yes, it takes work, yes it is painful, but let God be glorified in your life.

Again there is so much more to say. Good thing we already have. Click on some of the links above and see some specific tips on how to get going.

3. I need healing from God
Categories: Recently broke up, Bad experiences from previous relationships, Anxiety, Depression more, Poor mental health, Have not got over previous relationship, I do not trust women, Attracted to wrong women, Homosexual, Health – disability issue, Addictions

Let me address the fact that I added homosexuality to this list. We have already stated how we feel about homosexuality here. To sum it up let me write the last line of that article here:

“So instead of having signs that say God hates homosexuals and all that other garbage, we just need one sign. God loves everyone.”

We do not agree with the sin, but we do love the person. The Bible has a very clear stance on marriage and sexual relationships. (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:1-12). Usually, God just states what He expects those that love Him to do. In this case, He even gave commands not to have homosexual relationships. (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13). This is continued in the New Testament as well. (Romans 1:18-32, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7) The good news is that Jesus died so that you can be forgiven, cleansed and made whole. So this good news applies to all the categories listed here.

Whether you need emotional, mental or physical healing Jesus wants us to be whole, happy, and complete in Him (John 10:10). Bring everything to Him, because He loves you (Matthew 11:28-30). Jesus already paid the price (Isaiah 53:5, 1 Peter 2:24), and Jesus will work miracles in your life according to your faith (Mark 5:27-28, Matthew 8:5-13, Matthew 9:28-29). So just like Jesus said, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23 NKJV).

Again there is so much more to say. Good thing we already have. Click on some of the links above for more advice on specific topics.

4. I have given up
Categories: Don’t know how to start/be in a relationship, Given up more more, Is not worth the effort

There are more than a few people out there who are single by choice since they choose to give up. We have had people aged 25 and 65 both tell us that it’s too late. They are too old to find anyone. The answer to both is the same. It is never too late. So long as you are still breathing you can find someone. Jesus said “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26 NKJV). Not only does this apply to our souls, it also applies to our dreams. Even though your dreams are dead, and you buried them a long time ago, Jesus can resurrect them. Don’t just sit in a rut doing the same thing day after day. God has a wonderful plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11). He has a purpose and a plan for your life. When we walk in His calling, He puts good things along our path, because we are following Him.

Again there is so much more to say. Good thing we already have. Click on some of the links above and let Jesus fill you with His hope and love.