Finding a partner when we are single can be complicated. If we are looking for a Christian partner, the challenge is even greater. Now if we add to that a disability, can we still hope to get married? Obviously!

When our list of criteria is very long, it is more difficult to find a partner. This is why it is always necessary to return to the Word of God and create our list of criteria according to Biblical examples. Thus, our list becomes three or four essential criteria, which increases our chances of meeting someone compatible.

Of course, to fall in love, we not only need to find a compatible person, we also have to be a good potential partner for someone else. You have to look for someone, but you also have to be found by someone. When we have a disability, we may have more difficulty being considered. But more difficult does not mean impossible!

First, we must play down our situation. We sometimes believe that we are the only ones in the world with problems, disabilities or significant restrictions. When we accept these dark thoughts, we begin to isolate ourselves, to pity ourselves and our fate, and this attitude is extremely unappealing. A person in a wheelchair might think they are hopeless, just like a Christian in a very sparsely populated area, or a single parent with several children. We must stop looking at our disability or our restrictions and look to our Heavenly Father. When our hope is based on His promises instead of our circumstances, our attitude will be much more positive!

You can also acknowledge love stories involving people with a strong disability as encouraging testimony. Have you ever heard about Nick Vujicic’s story? Do a little research on the Internet. He has no arms or legs, and he’s married! Some of you will say, “Ah, but he was already a great evangelist when he got married. His popularity helped him to get noticed!” He certainly met more people than you or I, but why? Because he walked in his calling to preach the Word of God. Nothing prevents you from doing the same!

Also, consider the story of Joni Eareckson Tada. She became tetraplegic at the age of 17, from a diving accident. After two years of being depressed, she decided to give herself totally to God. She wrote books, did conferences and started to be a model of faith for many people with disabilities. At age 33, a young man started talking with her at her church, they became good friends and got married.

If God did it for them, He can do it for all Christian singles who have a disability or a severe restriction. These two stories have one thing in common: despite their disability, they gave themselves totally to God. Moreover, in both cases, it was while serving God that they met their life partner. Would not that be the secret of their love life? They put God first in their lives.

Ask God where you can serve Him right now, despite your situation. How can you grow His kingdom, despite your restrictions? How could you be a testimony of His love, of His salvation? When you start doing this, your face will glow with a new light. “The wise people will shine like the brightness of the sky. Those who teach others to live right will shine like stars forever and ever” (Daniel 12.3 NCV). A single person who shines attracts attention - and positive attention.

It is also important to keep in mind your reason for getting married. We do not get married to someone to have them take care of us. Marriage is to place yourself in a position to serve, it is to give more than to receive. How do we do that when we are paralyzed or severely disabled? Well maybe not physically, but you can be a help by your positive attitude, by giving encouraging and motivating words, by being a strong man or a woman in prayer, seeking to be a witness in the state where you are now. In an interview with Joni and her husband on ABC News, he said that she was his biggest cheerleader, that she was a fighter and that she was always proactive in seeking solutions.

Finally, I must add that I believe in miracles. I know that Jesus has already paid at the cross for the healing of all diseases. So whatever your disability, I encourage you to believe in your healing. But don’t do just that! God has a calling, a mission for each of you, no matter what your condition. So, move in that direction and in doing so, you will attract the right person. “Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well.” (Matthew 6.33 NCV)