We often complain about our current situation. We point out the disadvantages of being single; and married, we can always find reasons to complain! Why not focus on the good parts of the state we are in?
Complaining about the flaws or disadvantages of our life is not always a bad thing. There is a complete book in the Bible called “Lamentations”! To change, we usually have to be dissatisfied with the state we are in. As long as we are comfortable in our situation, we will not change. Dissatisfaction is sometimes a very good stepping stool.
The problem is when we are constantly complaining and cannot appreciate what we have. “Not that I speak in respect to lack, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content in it” (Philippians 4:11 WEB). In this verse, the Apostle Paul is speaking about his financial situation, not of his love life, but the connection still applies. Wanting to change is good, but we must still enjoy and even learn to be happy with the situation we are in.
When we love our life, when we cherish what we have, and we take care of it. God verifies how we take care of our present life, and if we have a good attitude, then He will entrust us with other tasks. “His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a few things, I will set you over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord’” (Matthew 25:21 WEB).
As a single person, if you only see the disadvantages of being alone and only benefits to being married, you will have a negative and unattractive attitude. In addition, those who have this attitude when they are single will have the same attitude when their honeymoon ends! They will become one of those married people who are always complaining about the heaviness of life together and the feeling of slavery they experience. If you want a happy marriage, you must start by being happy to be single.
So, yes there are disadvantages to being single, and when these disadvantages become heavy, it is time to do something to change our situation. However, in the meantime, we must also celebrate and enjoy the benefits of being single, because these benefits will not come back after marriage. Here are a few! (But do not hesitate to add others, in the comments section of our social media!)
You do not need to ask your partner if they with inviting guests home on weekends. You do not need to ask them to buy a new pair of shoes with the budget or ask if they agree to get a new car. If you want to watch TV late at night, no problem, no need to wonder if your partner prefers to fall asleep by your side. We must enjoy this freedom while single, because it will not be there when we’ll be married. We will always have to think about each other’s feelings and the family’s goals before making a personal choice.
You have much more free time! Especially if you do not have children. The best part of this is that you are free to manage your time according to your likes. You may not have a lot of money (one salary), but you have fewer expenses and most importantly, what you have in your bank account, you can spend it without asking anyone for permission. Enjoy traveling while single, but don’t forget to save some money as well: the first years of marriage are usually very expensive!
Spiritually, you can serve more often in your church. You can take time with God without distractions: you can close your door and no one will open it. For God, loneliness is an opportunity to talk to us. Make sure to enjoy it because God has a calling, mission for you that you will only be able to fulfill during your time of being single. Once married, your mission will change, so do not miss the one God puts on your life during this time.
It’s also better to learn how to cook, manage a budget, and so on, while you are single than once in a relationship. Once you are married, you will have to adapt what you learned, but at least you will know the basics. We must take advantage of our singleness to improve in all areas because it will make our future life easier.
Once married, our friendships change. Our single friends often distance themselves and we do not have as much time to see them. No more Saturday nights to go out or marathons of gaming. Enjoy your celibacy and all your friendships, and make new ones continuously.
Yes, there are disadvantages to being single, but there are also many benefits. Enjoy it! Be the person who can say on the day of their wedding: “I’m happy to get married, but I also enjoyed my single life, I took good advantage of it. Thank you, Lord!”