If someone stepped up to you and tried to tie your hands together, you would not let them! But there is another form of bondage that is not visible which we often forget about, and it can bind us just as much.

For years now we recognize verbal abuse. Today, everyone knows that words can hurt as much as a punch in the face. It is a fact that Jesus had already pointed. “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire” (Matthew 5:21-22 NKJV). Our words can be as lethal as an action.

So we pay attention to what we say. We know that we can be jailed for “death threats”, so when we are angry, we do our best to keep from saying words get us in trouble before a judge. But what about other words? David asked God to help him. “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice wicked works with men who work iniquity; and do not let me eat of their delicacies” (Psalm 141:3-4 NKJV).

Because yes, the words we say can be destructive. We must first and foremost pay attention to what we declare on our own life. We must avoid the statements like: “There is no woman that will want me!” or “I always end up with bad guys”. As we repeat those words we place ourselves in a position that seals our destiny in the wrong direction. We should also be careful with some phrases that look positive, like: “I will not get married until I win 500 souls to Christ”. That’s a very good goal, but what if God was planning on presenting you to someone that would help you win these 500 souls? By pronouncing that on your life, you close yourself to meeting good candidates.

In the wave of positive thoughts and philosophies that encourage people to believe and pursue their dreams, other words can be spoken and be dangerous. God has nothing against our dreams, but He has clearly said to pursue the Kingdom of God first, and the rest will follow (Matthew 6:33). The speeches of self-realization are more inspired by New Age than by the Word of God. That being said, words like: “I will be married to a lawyer, and we will have 2 children and 3 dogs” can also change your destiny. What if God presented you with a cashier in a pharmacy, but they are someone who has the character and maturity to become a leader of a great ministry? Many people believe in their dream so much (which is often more inspired by the images of the world than the Word of God!), that they close themselves to excellent candidates.

If you want to prophesy about your future love life, say verses like: “Me and my family will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15)”, “I will be like the wife of Proverbs 31 for my husband”, “I will be a husband who sacrifices himself for his family as Christ did for the Church (Ephesians 5:25)”. This way you are sowing good seeds in your future! When you think about it, by saying the inspired words of the Bible, you feel encouraged to develop what God wants from you.

Also, be merciless in the face of words that people pronounce on you. If your old aunt says to you: “You will never get married, you are way too this or that”, break these words immediately in the name of Jesus. You can think about what she said and make changes if you think she is right. For example, she thinks you are too lazy, you can remember her words and realize that it is in your best interest to become a hard worker. But deny the curse she cast on you by her words and break that word right away in the name of Jesus.

Christians, even pastors, can pronounce words that bind us. Be especially vigilant when someone use the wording: “God told me that…”. If what follows is not confirmed by what the Bible says (Hebrews 4:12), reject it all, no matter who told you. And why would God say that to this person instead of telling you? Some people use the name of God in vain to meddle in everyone’s life: do not participate in their sin (Exodus 20:7)! If someone in your church says words like: “If you do not marry this man, you will end up old and alone”, answer them out loud: “I break these words in the name of Jesus”. This will surely surprise them but it should make them realize that their words are dangerous and not inspired by God.

Brothers and sisters, don’t let yourself be fettered by anyone! Be vigilant, the enemy lurks around you (1 Peter 5:8) to destroy your present and your future. Defend yourself with the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:6-17)!

(By the way, we talk about all the curses that may have touched your love life in our latest book “On the Road to Marriage”, available on Amazon and in an electronic version by Kindle and Google Books.)