Dating does not always end with a beautiful wedding. But even though we may have made a mistake in our choice of partner, we certainly did not make a mistake by loving them with all our hearts.
The day we receive the bad news, our world seems to shatter. We feel cheated, abandoned, rejected, neglected and the list of qualifiers could keep going. Some will find themselves on the cold floor of their room completely collapsed, struggling to breathe under the ceaseless sobs from the depths of their soul. If you have ever heard a newborn cry, you will know what kind of crying we are referring to here.
We then begin to pour out our hearts before the Lord. The pain can be so intense that we lose our bearings. We have the impression that our soul has been cut off with a knife: we only have God left. And in our sobbing, God answers us: “Are you ready to pray for them until their heart is fully mine?” What ?! Praying for the person whose disobedience ravaged our lives? Yet that’s what Jesus says. “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44 NASB).
Are we ready to pray for the good of this person? Pain can make obedience difficult, but God knows what is good for our soul. When we follow the guidance of our tender Savior, by accepting this call to intercession, our soul fills up with peace. We realize that even though we still yearn for a reciprocal love that will last all our lifetime, our broken relationships can not kill the love in us.
Regardless of the injuries, our “ex” has caused us, the best way to prevent our anger and bitterness from killing our dreams is to pray for them (Hebrews 12:15). Call this the “ministry of the exes”. Has your ex abandoned the Lord during your time of dating? Pray that the Lord will bring them back to Him and make them a stronger Christian. Was it jealousy and lies that destroyed your relationship? Ask the Lord that they become confident and trustworthy. Perhaps you have gone through the heartbreak of infidelity: implore the Lord to make your ex honest and faithful.
In short, let us pray for those men or women whom God has placed in our path and who are now part of our history. Let’s accept that our life may not be exactly what we wanted. Jacob struggled with the angel of the Lord then told him that he would not let go unless he blessed him (Genesis 32:26). Let us do the same in the Spirit with those who have hurt us. We will not let them go without blessing them with our prayers. Perhaps we will have to struggle with the Lord for us to bless them, but by the grace of God, we will succeed in honoring the commitment we made to love them. Breaking up does not mean to stop loving; it is learning to love differently. Let us love them as God says, by praying for them. Are you ready for this challenge?