Friendships that last a lifetime are very rare. Most of the time, our circle of friends will change during each season of our lives. Each step owns its challenges and brings its blessings, and the same goes for our friendships.
As adults, the moment when all our single friends are now married is among the greatest where we need to make new friends. It’s not that they do not want to see us anymore, but they have other challenges that require their attention and have less time for us. They should not be deleted from our address book on their wedding day, but we must remain realistic and accept that they have less time for us and that it is better for us to find other friends.
Unfortunately, a divorce can also force us to make new friendships. Because in a marriage, we often develop common friendships and it can become uncomfortable to rub shoulders with people who still have strong links with our “ex”. A big move can also be another chapter in our life that forces us to rebuild our friendships, just like a change of church (if all your friends were also at this church) or the beginning of our relationship with God. Also at the time of our retirement, if most of our friends were at our place of work. Even at our graduation, if our circle of friends was at school.
At many times in our lives, we can find ourselves without friends. Sometimes the task of “looking” for friends seems painful. Do we really need friends? The book of Proverbs, which is a collection of words of wisdom, speaks abundantly of friendships, good and bad. It seems that at the time the Bible was written, even if the families were big, friendships were still worth it! We can think of the deep friendship between David and Jonathan, but also to the friends of Job who despite their questionable advice, were still the only ones to stay with him during his misfortune. Jesus also considered His disciples His friends. “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15 NKJV). If our Savior and Lord had friends, we too gain in having them, for all sorts of reasons!
This is an essential exercise to do for singles. Not only to overcome loneliness but especially because our future partner must be our best friend! Too many singles are looking for a partner, someone to marry, instead of looking for a friend. They want a partner so they no longer feel alone. However, a romantic relationship does not meet this need, it is a friendship. Obviously, if we develop a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, it can lead to a deeper attachment, but we must not focus on the love aspect. We must learn to develop good friendships, all around us.
To create new friendships, you have to get out of your home. “Facebook friends” are not real: they are virtual. We can break the ice by meeting online, but real relationships only develop in the real world! So how do you make friends? Just start by talking to more people. Prepare conversation starters if you need, ask questions and show interest. Crush your shyness. When you have found a nice person who shares your interests, suggest a simple activity. Then if you have a good time, repeat! Make a mixed circle of friends, organize game nights at home, and enjoy life! It was God who gave it to you, no?