This is a phrase that many of us admit to having said. We look back and realize that we have missed great opportunities. Yet it is simple to avoid regrets, all we need is a little planning.
We can’t wait to take the next step. Students can’t wait to start their profession. The vast majority of singles are eager to be married. During a pandemic, we can’t wait to get out of our isolation. While it is good to dream and think about the next stage in our lives, the Bible encourages us to appreciate the state we are in. “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need” (Philippians 4:11-12 NKJV).
One of the advantages of enjoying the present moment is that it helps us to avoid regrets later. Many married people regret not taking advantage of the freedom they had while they were single. Sometimes they will say, “I should have taken the opportunity to travel more, even to go on a missionary trip. I should have taken the opportunity to clear my debts. I should have … I should have …” However, if we take advantage of the present moment, we will have fewer regrets later. We will be able to say: “I had a great life as a single, I enjoyed it.”
There are also other types of regrets that are more painful. Those that start with: “I shouldn’t have …”. We cannot change the past, but we can learn from our mistakes. Remembering the past should not leave us with bitter feelings. The past should strengthen us for the present and encourage us for the future. This is exactly what Moses did, preparing the people who were about to enter the Promised Land. He first reminded them of their past, their mistakes and the miracles that God had done. The past helped them to appreciate the present moment and to prepare for their next chapter.
To avoid regrets in the future, we must appreciate the present moment, but we must also prepare our future. Before embarking on a romantic relationship, let’s take the time to think about the cost. Because we will not regret our past in our moments of pure happiness, but when times are difficult. Too many singles idealize married life and are then depressed when they have to face any problems. If we take the time to identify in advance the challenges we may face, we will not be surprised by the storms and we will have fewer regrets about our past. This is what Jesus taught. “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?” (Luke 14:28-30 NKJV). We cannot foresee everything, we do not always know what we will lose by entering another chapter of our life, but we can certainly take time to think about it. Have a chat with older couples, to find out the challenges they have gone through and the surprises they have had. Ask them what they regret about their single life. Then learn from it all.
Don’t do this planning exercise just for your future married life. Do the same for your future profession, if you are thinking of changing careers. Do the same for your future ministry, that is, the next project that you will undertake to grow the Kingdom of God. How can you prepare now to be more effective later in your service to God? Most of us are currently in confinement due to the pandemic, so take some time to think about your routine when you will return to normal life. If the isolation ended now, would you say “I should have taken advantage to do…”? As difficult as it may be, staying home alone, some benefits should not be overlooked. There are benefits that you should take advantage of now because they will disappear forever afterward.
Do not waste the moment, enjoy it, and you will not have regrets later.