We are not looking for a woman just to spoon in bed, to spend time with, or to wash our clothes! Being a husband is a title that comes with great responsibilities.

In the Old Testament, and even in the New Testament in the early years of the church, women, and children died with their fathers. If a man committed a crime and was sentenced to death, the whole family was wiped out. “And the king gave the command, and they brought those men who had accused Daniel, and they cast them into the den of lions—them, their children, and their wives; and the lions overpowered them, and broke all their bones in pieces before they ever came to the bottom of the den” (Daniel 6:24 NKJV). This story is not unique, there are several other examples where women and children suffered the same fate as the father.

Nowadays, the punishment is not as extreme (fortunately!), but there are still negative consequences for an entire family when the husband commits a crime. They will not be in prison with him, but they will also suffer from psychological, economic, emotional, etc. consequences. And that is obvious.

But there is another kind of “crime” that places an enormous burden on the family: when the husband is not following the voice of God. If God gives you a directive for your family and you don’t follow it, or if you don’t even take the time to ask God what His direction is for your family, your disobedience or negligence will affect your wife and your children. There will be tension in your house, and disorder in your children, etc. “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain” (Psalm 127:1 KJV).

Men, keep this in mind when looking for a woman. Finding a partner is not just looking for someone to fill a void, to share household chores, or to have children. Before looking for a wife, make sure you are determined to lead your family in the ways of God. And remember, you will never be 100% “ready” for marriage, but you can be well prepared. Start sharpening your ear now to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 50:4).

And women, knowing that, don’t push a man to marry you until he has an obedient ear to the Holy Spirit. If you are in too much of a hurry to put a ring on your finger, you risk condemning yourself (and your children) to a rather difficult life!