We often talk about the kind of friends to have (or to get rid of!), but maybe it’s time to turn the light on ourselves and see if we are a good friend.
In a world of consumerism, where the thought is “me first”, the idea of sacrificing ourselves for others is not very popular! Sacrificing our comfortable TV night to go comfort a friend? Phew! We’ll start by texting them, maybe even calling them, but leaving our house to go see them? Many people criticized Job’s friends, even God rebuked their advice, but they still had an exemplary character trait. “When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great” (Job 2:12-13 NASB). Would you do this: sit on the ground for seven days and seven nights, saying nothing, just to support your grieving friend with your presence?
What does it mean to be a good friend, according to the Bible?
Be present We cannot answer every call we receive, but we should always make ourselves available to our close friends, as we would to our own family. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17 NASB)
Listening A good friend doesn’t monopolize the whole conversation. He listens in an attentive and participatory manner. He shares the joys and sorrows of the other. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15 NASB).
Protect the reputation of the other It is sad to see people (mostly women) gossip and find that funny. We should never speak badly about anyone else, let alone our friends. “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4 NIV).
Keep a promise Better to tell your friend “no, I can’t” than to say yes and break your promises. Confidence is built little by little, through kept promises. And it’s an essential ingredient in friendship. “But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil” (Matthew 5:37 NASB).
Be humble The real definition of humility is not always trying to win. And that is a winning attitude in friendship! “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another”(Galatians 5:13 NASB)
Warn of dangers We shouldn’t always flatter our friends. Sometimes you also have to warn them of the danger they run in continuing on a wrong path. We are the keepers of our brothers and sisters. “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother” (Matthew 18:15 NASB)
Be generous We should never lend money to a friend, otherwise our relationship will change and become that of a creditor. If our friend is in financial need, we can give them money, but never expect them to return it. “If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount” (Luke 6:34 NASB)
Why is it important to become a “good” friend? Because we are going to marry our best friend. So if you are not a trustworthy friend now, if you never feel like sacrificing yourself to help a friend, if you take advantage of the bonds of affection to extract money… you will be a terrible partner! And God looks at the heart. If you are not able to be a good friend, God will not lead you to one of His children. As a good father, He protects His children from exploiters. If you are not able to sacrifice yourself for a friend, how do you think you will be able to sacrifice yourself for your partner?! Practice sharing, caring, supporting, encouraging, protecting your friends, and then you will be ready to get married.
Similarly, before you marry someone, see how that person behaves with their friends. If they gossip about their friends and laugh about it, she will speak out against you when she will be married to you. If he doesn’t want to sacrifice his Saturday afternoon football game to give a hand to his friend in need, he’s not going to get up from his couch when you need him. Take the time to observe their behavior before getting married: actions speak louder than words!