There are benefits to being single, but sometimes (or often, some might say!) living alone can get boring. Silence is said to be golden, but it can also be overwhelming. So what to do at such times? Here are some ideas!
When we are Christians, and life alone becomes heavy to bear, we must first and foremost turn to God. He knows how we feel, He lives inside of us, but it is good for us to talk about it. At the same time, it reminds us that we are not alone, God is there (although yes, it is not the same as having a person in the flesh with us). It does not bother God if we pour out our hearts in His presence, provided that we are also ready to listen to His advice to find joy again. It is also possible that He will give us all kinds of ideas and missions to fill our time (even in times of confinement!). When we are busy serving, there is less time to get bored!
So, what next? You can also fill your calendar with friendships. Even in times of lockdown, you can “invite” friends over for coffee online, play games, even cook at the same time, live, through video conferencing. The important thing is to plan these evenings. Spontaneity can be fun, but sometimes no one has time to answer our call. Whereas if the evening is planned, it will be different.
Why not volunteer to help a single mother (or father)? If the health regulations in your area allow it, you can go babysit for two or three hours and give the parent a break. If not, you could also offer to go shopping for them. You will be able to leave your home while providing a valuable service. And don’t forget your family! They too can benefit from your help and listening ear. Again, don’t wait until the last minute to offer your assistance. Plan a specific time in the week when you will be devoted to these people. In turn, you will avoid them asking for your help at any time. By having a scheduled meeting, they can patiently wait their turn.
Also in your agenda, plan an evening to find a partner or to do something about your future marriage. Dreaming about a future marriage without ever doing anything towards the fulfillment of that dream will get us nowhere. Abraham’s servant went to look for a wife, Ruth went to Boaz, Joseph worked to have Rachel. We have steps to take, even if we choose to depend on God. He’s the one who will inspire us on what to do. But again, it is better to plan a specific time in our week to take such steps. If we choose to take steps only when we are bored, we will either take desperate actions or have a cynical approach. So let’s be intentional and reasonable in planning these research times. Remember, you are going to marry your best friend, so don’t just look for partners; rather, seek to make new friendships. Find video conferences that cover topics that interest you, start a new online course, or ask to join an online Bible study from a different church. It’s not just on Christian dating websites that you’ll find new people to talk to!
On another day of your week, plan to go outside: take a walk, ride your bicycle, or go skiing, take your neighbor’s dog for a walk, etc. If you are not very athletic, you will benefit from planning it. Because it is rare to spontaneously have the desire to go do exercise!
At another time of your week, enjoy your singleness! There are benefits to being alone too. Choose an evening to pamper yourself, to play, to take your mind off things… to feel good with yourself. Again, plan this day! You’ll enjoy your nice evening even more if you know it only happens once a week!
The important thing in avoiding boredom as much as possible is to plan. There is nothing more demoralizing than saying to yourself “well, what could I do tonight?…” Make a plan for the week: this day with God, that day with a friend, this day all alone, that day a new class online, this day helping a neighbor, that day for my mother. Even when married, it is easy to fall into a monotonous life. So, practice right away! Be creative: after all, you inherited the genes of God the Creator at your salvation!