Jesus would not have asked us to love our enemies if it was natural. And while we may not see our “exes” as “enemies,” sometimes we have a hard time accepting God blessing them. An attitude to correct!

Some relationships end relatively well, and the ex-partners remain cordial. Sometimes they even remain friends. But in other cases, breakups are horrific, hurtful, just like the relationship had been. In these cases, we hope that God will send His thunderbolt to bring justice to us against this person who has made us suffer so much. We continue to follow them on social media and rejoice when they post misfortunes that befall them. “Well, that’s what they get!”, we think. Or to stay it in a spiritual way we say, “Well, they reaped what they sowed!”. If on the contrary, our “ex” displays beautiful blessings that they have received from God, we become sour and skeptical. Sometimes it even leads us to be angry with God. “How can you bless them after what they did to me?”

A famous character from the Bible has the same story. Jonah was a prophet of Israel, and God had asked him to warn the people of Nineveh that they would be destroyed if they did not repent. However, Jonah and his contemporaries hated the inhabitants of Nineveh, the capital of the Assyrian kingdom. Assyria was an enemy of the Jews, a barbaric and idolatrous people. Jonah wanted God to destroy them, for God’s justice to eradicate the Assyrians from the face of the earth. So, when God told him to tell the people of Nineveh to repent and be saved, Jonah would not! He did not want the people of Nineveh to repent, and certainly not to be saved! That’s why Jonah took a boat to a destination opposite of Nineveh. But we know the rest of the story: to save the sailors from the storm, Jonah was thrown overboard, was swallowed by a large fish, which spat him out on the shore of Nineveh.

Reluctantly, Jonah still told the prophecy to the people of Nineveh, but he remained very vague. “Forty more days, and Nineveh will be overthrown.” He shouted as he walked through the city. He did not explain to the people that God could forgive them; in fact, he didn’t even mention the name of God in his statement! Despite this, the king saw in this message a need for repentance. He forced all the people, and even the cattle, into a national fast. God was pleased and He did not destroy Nineveh; which irritated Jonah. “But it greatly displeased Jonah, and he became angry. Then he prayed to the Lord and said, “Please Lord, was this not what I said when I was still in my own country? Therefore in anticipation of this I fled to Tarshish, since I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in mercy, and One who relents of disaster” (Jonah 4:1-2 NASB).

How do you react when your “ex” receives a blessing from God? If you are angry, it may be a sign that you have not forgiven. Maybe it’s one of your coworkers who is upsetting you. You feel like they stole your promotion and, since then, you’ve only hoped they would make a mistake. Watch out for this attitude: you could end up in a big fish! When God asks us to love our enemies, that includes starting again to hope that they are blessed. The apostles even encouraged the early Christians to honor their governments, even though the emperor put them to death in horrific ways. So even if the government in our country is not the one we voted for, we must pray for them a prayer of blessing. Revenge belongs to God, but so does compassion, and it is God that will decide how He will treat each person. Our duty is to love and bless. “Not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you would inherit a blessing”, (1 Peter 3:9 NASB).

You have the right to be angry and to fight hard against the powers of darkness, but you have to love and bless every human being. Yes, yes, even your “ex”! “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44 NASB).