Nobody likes to show their weaknesses. No one wants to admit their mistakes. Yet, God encourages us to remain humble and recognize our shortcomings. Are you able to do this?
Young children don’t have a problem with the concept. They fall, drop an object, or use the wrong tool for a job, and we correct them. The vast majority of the time they follow our instructions and learn from their mistakes or forget about the incident and keep playing. But they don’t usually make a big deal out of it: they’re not ashamed to make mistakes. At least… not yet! As they get older, they become more and more resentful when we point out their mistakes or try to help them with their weaknesses. And this irritation continues to mount until it becomes a real fight in adolescence. Some adults keep this attitude for a very long time!
It takes a lot of humility to admit our mistakes. Our instincts push us to defend ourselves and to find a reasonable justification for our actions. Even if what we have done is wrong, we will try to blame someone else instead of taking the blame. It takes great strength of character to be able to say, “I made a mistake”. It is true that in a conflict, both parties usually have their share of the blame, and it is difficult to admit our faults if the other party refuses to do the same. We would feel like the losing person in the conflict. And, of course, we don’t want to lose. But if we want to win our point, we will lose our peace (2 Chronicles 16:9-10).
Sometimes it is easier to confess our sins to God; after all, our excuses never hold water before Him. But our Father also asks us to confess our errors to those around us. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First, get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5 NLT).
Admitting our mistakes sometimes forces us to accept losing the battle. However, it is sometimes more advantageous to lose face, than to lose a friendship. A lesson that will also be very useful once we are married! Ideally, our humility will be contagious, and by admitting our wrongs, the other party will also admit theirs. But not always! We must also be ready to apologize even if the other is just as guilty and does not admit anything. “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NLT). We don’t need to win every battle when we know that in Christ we are always more than conquerors (Romans 8:37) and that even our mistakes will work out for our good (Romans 8:28).
The same goes for our weaknesses. We can ask for help. Even Jesus asked His disciples to support Him (Matthew 26:38). The apostles also asked the disciples to pray for them (2 Corinthians 1:11). Paul did not hide his imperfections, on the contrary! “That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10 NLT). If you have to impose limits on yourself, say so, so that those around you can help you in this process. For example, if alcohol is a problem for you, and you are at a party, admit that you do not tolerate alcohol well and therefore do not want any. If you only answer “Oh no, I don’t want it”, people might try to make you want it. But if you say “no, with my condition, I can’t take alcohol, it would be dangerous for me”, they won’t insist. They may ask you questions, but by admitting your weakness, even if you display your vulnerability, you will also gain respect. Your humility may even lead others to do the same (1 Corinthians 9:22).