We all know a person whose endless flow of words is dizzying. Holding a conversation is an art, and it is good to learn to hold our tongues at times. Especially when we are single and looking for a partner.
Talking is very important. Some people need to learn to express their needs more and stop hoping the people around them will read their minds. We’re going to experience a lot less frustration if we stop hiding behind “He should have known” excuses! We must dare to express our opinions, tastes, and desires.
But you also have to keep a good balance and sometimes refrain from revealing everything. Just as the Bible tells us to be modest in the way we dress, to avoid opening a door to sin, we must also know how to use modesty in our conversations. The book of Proverbs contains many verses that encourage us to hold back the flood of words that want to come out of our mouths. “If you talk a lot, you are sure to sin; if you are wise, you will keep quiet” (Proverbs 10:19 NCV). The wise man who wrote this book even considers it madness to lack restraint in a discussion. “Fools do not want to understand anything. They only want to tell others what they think” (Proverbs 18:2 NCV).
That is especially important to remember when we are single and looking for a partner or just making new friends. During the first few dates with a person is not the time to talk about our intestinal worms or our failures in love. The atmosphere will be more positive talking about what you are passionate about. But again, remember that your passion may not be shared, so refrain from monopolizing the conversation and avoid too pointed details. Briefly explain your passion and pass the torch to your date to let them in turn express their passion. If we want the game to be interesting, the ball should pass from one side to the other in a constant rhythm.
Since doctrines vary greatly from one church to another, make sure to make your revelations your own, instead of playing preacher. “I read this passage, and it taught me this…” instead of saying “I read this passage and here is what the church should do…”. We must remember that God works differently in each person (John 21:22). Giving our testimony is great and can encourage someone who is going through the same challenge, but imposing our method on others by pressing that this is what God wants for everyone is not right.
You have to learn not to talk too much about yourself during the first dates. Not only for the sake of self-protection but also so as not to be invasive. “Lord, help me control my tongue; help me be careful about what I say” (Psalms 141:3 NCV). A principle that also applies to our social media. Some users invade newsgroups with all kinds of posts or by sharing far too much unverified information. Before posting anything, it’s a good idea to ask yourself a few questions. Why do I want to post this? Does everyone need to know, or should I share it with someone specific? Is this useful, true, and uplifting? Could this hurt someone or create a conflict? Am I announcing this good news to share my joy or to brag? Could sharing this information be dangerous for me if a predator reads it?
Even when we pray, Jesus wants us to pay attention to what we say. “And when you pray, don’t be like those people who don’t know God. They continue saying things that mean nothing, thinking that God will hear them because of their many words. Don’t be like them, because your Father knows the things you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:7-8 NCV). God knows it is not easy to control our tongue (Matthew 12:36). For some people, opening their mouths is a challenge; for others, it is to close it! Fortunately, the Holy Spirit is available and happy to help us in this area. Let us simply take the time to ask Him for His assistance: we need Him.