We know that living in fear is not God’s plan for our lives. Our Heavenly Father wants to see us fulfilled and free. But the Bible still encourages us to have a fear, that of the Lord. Do you have to be afraid of God? Not quite.

A person who is afraid of dogs will always stay away from these animals. They will change sidewalks if someone walks their dog on the same path as them. Maybe this fear will even cause them nightmares at night. When the Bible speaks to them about fearing the Lord, they might naturally believe that they should be afraid of God and thus stay away from Him. Another person had an abusive biological father, who violently exploded at the slightest mistake, and they distanced themselves from that father to protect themself. When they read passages in the Bible that speak of the fear of the Lord, they associate God with their biological father and fear the explosion of God’s wrath if they take a wrong step. They will attempt to hide from God or live in constant religious anguish.

The fear of the Lord is not to be afraid of God. Our Lord is not sitting on a cloud, with lightning in His hands, about to strike down every person who sins. Yes, God has all the power to annihilate us at any time, but it is not in His plan to do that at all! He loves us far too much for that, and His love does not diminish. “The Lord’s love never ends; his mercies never stop. They are new every morning; Lord, your loyalty is great” (Lamentations 3:22-23 NCV). There is no wickedness in our Heavenly Father, and His patience is great. “But, Lord, you are a God who shows mercy and is kind. You don’t become angry quickly. You have great love and faithfulness” (Psalms 86:15 NCV).

Some theologians explain the fear of the Lord as having a deep respect for God. It is to recognize Him as the authority over our lives and to obey Him with respect for His position. But we could also say that to fear the Lord is to be afraid of displeasing Him, afraid of grieving His Spirit. That is how David felt when he wrote, “Do not send me away from you or take your Holy Spirit away from me” (Psalm 51:11 NCV). To have the fear of the Lord is to be afraid of losing His favor, afraid of defiling oneself and no longer being an example for others (Titus 2:7). It is to fear that our life will not serve to increase the Kingdom of God, that our motives will not glorify God.

When we have business opportunities or do our budgeting, having the fear of the Lord means that we will make financial decisions that will honor our Lord. Above all, we do not want to displease God in our financial management, so we refuse questionable transactions and are generous in our offerings. For a single person, having the fear of the Lord means that we behave in a way that pleases God in our relationships, in our clothing choices, in the places we visit, etc. In all areas of our lives, if we go forward with the fear of the Lord, if we are careful not to displease God, we will act with more wisdom. That is what the verse Psalm 111:10 (NCV) concludes: “Wisdom begins with respect for the Lord; those who obey his orders have good understanding. He should be praised forever” In Proverbs 1:7 (NCV), it also says that “fools hate wisdom and discipline.”

When we act without thinking of God or make decisions without considering whether it pleases God, we are going in the wrong direction. Just because we want to do what we want doesn’t mean God doesn’t see us. “Nothing in all the world can be hidden from God. Everything is clear and lies open before him, and to him we must explain the way we have lived” (Hebrews 4:13 NCV). To have the fear of the Lord is to remember in all circumstances that we are accountable.