I think many unmarried folks can relate to my experience. On good days, I understood how much God had blessed my life, even though I had no spouse. On bad days, I felt lonely, discouraged, and even betrayed by the Lord.

I knew I was delighting in God; wasn’t He supposed to give me the desires of my heart? What was the holdup? Was I unworthy of a spouse? Had God forgotten about me? In quiet moments, these kinds of questions flooded my mind and plagued my soul. I was living the first part of Proverbs 13:12 which says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” but I was ready for the second part: “a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Discouragement comes to us all. Whether the source is unwanted singleness, a difficult marriage, caring for a sick child, or enduring a toxic work environment, discouragement is a constant part of human existence. King David of Israel was often discouraged. Seeking to make sense of these feelings he wrote, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 43:5).

Discouragement is not reserved for those who are flying solo. Neither is hope reserved for those in a relationship. Regardless of your relationship status, you will experience both emotions at times. The question isn’t if you’ll experience discouragement but when. And the antidote is always found in the hope of a risen Lord.

God is worthy of our trust. When Daniel’s friends Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to bow down to a golden statue of King Nebuchadnezzar, they were thrown into a fiery furnace. Before they faced the flames, the young men memorably said, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not … we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18).

While being single and longing for marriage doesn’t have the same life-or-death stakes, it does require sacrifice and trust in God. The three Hebrew young men believed that God could save them, but they had made up their minds to honor Him even if He chose not to. As a single woman, I had to make this same choice regarding my singleness: Would I honor God’s commands for my sexuality, believing His ways were best, even if He never gave me the spouse I so deeply desired? I didn’t always do this perfectly, but it was my intention to do so. Whether single or married, part of my calling as a Christian is to deny myself and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23).

God works all things out for our good. This is easy to say when a friend is struggling, but it’s much harder to accept in my own day-to-day struggles. Still, imagine what would change if you and I truly believed this amazing truth. In seasons of discouragement, this promise may not feel true; but it is. I’m sure the angst I experienced over my singleness would have been greatly reduced had I truly believed that God was working for my good.

(This is a short version of the article “Hope for Weary Singles” by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, published on the Boundless website. To read the full article, please click here.)