God says there are blessings for the single person who utilizes his or her single season to focus more on Him. We would be foolish not to take His guidance to heart.
If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand… Most recently just last week, when I overheard a married couple reiterate it to a single friend: “While you’re single, you should prioritize your relationship with Christ.” (Implied: ”You know, before you’re married and busy with life.”) I’ve always struggled with this one. I know, I know, it’s from the Bible, based on 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (ESV) : “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”
But do Paul’s words in this chapter mean that I, as a single person, should be more spiritual, more focused on my walk with Christ than people who are married? Following that line of logic raises questions as to why God would ever call anyone to get married, if it leads to less spiritual commitment. On the other hand, does my prolonged singleness mean I have yet to achieve a specific level of spiritual maturity while my married friends are apparently so far ahead? That sometimes seems to be what’s implied in others’ well-intentioned comments about singles’ priorities.
It’s easy to be dismissive of comments like this. Annoyed, even. But instead of questioning others’ logic and taking offense, maybe I should first ask myself if I am truly living this out. What would it look like to be “anxious about the things of the Lord” and to focus on growing closer to God at this stage of my life? There are four areas where we can start.
Goals. What shapes my idea of what I should aspire to? When setting goals, do I only think about my own aspirations, or do I consider what God may have me do, even if those goals appear to work against my own plans for my life?
Priorities. Career, relationships, personal growth; these are all good things in their proper place. But am I keeping them in their proper place? Who do I think about first? Is it my own needs or wants or ideas, or am I looking for what God is doing?
Routines. What is first in my daily schedule? Am I consistently spending undistracted (yes, undivided) time with God before the rest of the day starts? Do I let the cares of the day keep me from spending time in my Bible?
Decisions. What is my first action step when deciding how God is leading me in any given situation? Do I first seek counsel from others, weigh pros and cons, or look at how different choices might affect my life? Or, have I asked God himself? Have I sought His will in this?
Maybe we’ll be married one day. Maybe not. But either way, time spent fully pursuing God now will never be wasted. Even in singleness, God has a plan for each of us that will only be sweeter the closer we are to Him.
(This is a short version of the article “The Spiritual Single” by Lauren Dunn, published on the Boundless website. To read the full article, please click here.)