We all know that pride is a bad fault (even a sin), and for the sake of humility, we sometimes refuse compliments. Where is the line between being proud and being prideful?

We must recognize that our strengths come from God, but we also have the right to be proud of ourselves when we make the necessary efforts to improve ourselves in one area or another. The Amplified version of the Bible sheds a beautiful light on the subject in Galatians 6:4. “But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor.”

To be proud without being prideful, one must boast in himself and not in comparison with others. So we can be proud of our good deeds and our successes, as long as we don’t use them to put others down (“I’m better than him”) or try to be like someone else (“I got there just like him!”). Paul was sometimes proud of his work and his disciples. “Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians 7:4 NKJV). He didn’t say, “I boast about you, because I do a better job than Peter”! He didn’t compare himself, but he was pleased with his work and the Corinthians’ response. If we avoid comparisons, we avoid falling into pride.

We can rejoice in our successes when our goals have been chosen according to our evolution and God’s plan for us. We cannot set ourselves the goal of being like another person or better than someone else. The successes of others can be inspiring, but is this the direction God is guiding my life? We must listen to the Holy Spirit to know His plan for us and not envy and covet another person’s life.

Also, learn to accept compliments when you receive them. If you sang well and someone compliments you, do not reject their words by saying “No, no, I did not do anything special.” This is false modesty. You recognize that your talent comes from God, but you also have the right to be proud of all the efforts you have put into perfecting your talent. If someone compliments you on how nice your clothes are, don’t say, “Oh, that’s nothing, it was in the back of my closet.” The person will feel rebuffed. You have every right to be proud of your choice of clothing and thank God for His provision. Learn to simply say “thank you”, when you receive compliments. And you’ll probably get more!

When we’ve taken steps to avoid pride, it’s good to know our strengths and use them. Of course, it grows the Kingdom of God when we use them to build up the Body of Christ. But it’s also necessary to know our strengths as a future spouse (if you’re planning to get married). Instead of just seeing your flaws and the reasons why you might be single, start to also consider your strengths and what you’ll bring to your future marriage. This will help you become more confident, and that confident attitude is certainly more attractive.