Understanding Shame

Shame can feel like a suffocating weight, convincing us that we are flawed, worthless, or beyond redemption. Yet, the Bible speaks directly to our experience of shame, not only naming it but also offering us a pathway to healing through the Gospel.

One of my most shameful childhood memories was when I was in grade 2 or 3 and my French teacher asked the class, “Where do hotdogs come from.?” I raised my hand, and when called upon, I responded with conviction,”They come from a cow’s utters!!” I don’t know if I made that up, or my family planted this seed of false knowledge in my head, as families do, for fun, but I was convinced that I knew. My teacher, who I will not name, was known to be somewhat strict and not what you might call, a people person. I often felt inadequate around her, but then, I felt that way around most people at the time. Well, my French teacher laughed loudly at me, and ridiculed me in front of the whole class. With permission from the teacher granted, the class joined in the laughter and ridicule. I was crushed. I felt worthless, and after 45 years of healing, looking back, I can tell you, that event had sown deep insecurity and overwhelming feelings of rejection into virtually every interaction I have had since. Thankfully, Jesus has removed most of that deep feeling of shame from my life. God is so good.

What is shame? Ed Welch, in his book “Shame Interrupted”, describes shame as “the deep sense that you are unacceptable because of something you did, something done to you, or something associated with you.” Shame attacks our identity and convinces us that we are unworthy of love or belonging.

From the beginning of Scripture, we see shame enter the human story. After Adam and Eve sinned, they hid from God and covered themselves, ashamed of their nakedness (Genesis 3:7-8). The fig leaf they used was woefully inadequate. How long would such a covering last before it wilted away and died. Shame was not part of God’s original design but came as a result of sin, fracturing our relationship with God and with others. Adam and Eve’s fig leaves point to our feeble attempts at trying to cover our own shame to no avail. Shame leaves a mark, and we must do something with it or it can crush us.

God does not leave us in our shame. Through the Gospel, He speaks hope, healing, and restoration. Let’s look at how He addresses shame in His Word.

God Covers Our Shame In Genesis 3:21, after Adam and Eve’s sin, God provided garments of skin to cover their nakedness. This act was more than practical; it was symbolic of God’s provision for their shame. The animal skins God used required a sacrifice, where blood was spilled. This points us to a future sacrifice, through the blood of Jesus, that would cover our shame once and for all. Throughout the Bible, God promises to cover His people: “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10 ESV) In Christ, this covering reaches its ultimate fulfillment. His righteousness covers our sin and shame, making us acceptable before God.
God Restores Our Honor Shame often tells us we are unlovable or unwanted, but the Gospel declares that we are chosen and cherished by God.“You shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give. You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God” (Isaiah 62:2-3)
God Redeems Our Stories The Gospel turns shame into a testimony of grace. Romans 8:28 assures us that God works all things (even the things that cause us shame) for good for those who love Him. Consider the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4. Her shame over her broken relationships led her to avoid others, but after encountering Jesus, she became a bold witness to her community. Jesus did not condemn her but offered her living water, transforming her shame into a story of redemption.

The cross is the ultimate answer to our shame. Jesus bore our sin and shame, enduring the scorn of the cross (Hebrews 12:2) so that we might be free. He invites us to come to Him, not as perfect people, but as we are: ashamed, broken, and in need of grace. Let this truth sink deep into your heart: In Christ, you are fully known, fully loved, and fully restored. Shame no longer has the final word.